I don’t care why you’re fat

There is a type of sexual fetish around feeding someone or gaining weight. People gain weight on purpose because it brings them and their partners sexual pleasure.

Why bring this up — well. Because the fat haters who like to harass fat activists love to conflate gainers (people who eat to gain weight on purpose) with fat people who don’t do that. With fat people who are just fat and eat pretty much what you might imagine a thin person eating.

It can get pretty frustrating because I think- I don’t eat like that.

Then I kept thinking about it and I decided- I don’t care.

I don’t care why people are fat.

I invite you to try it. It’s amazingly freeing.

Should people be ‘allowed’ to gain weight for sexual pleasure? Yeah. They should.

Does it risk their health? I don’t know. Probably not as much as you think.

People do a lot of things for the sexy times they enjoy. Adults get to make their own decisions.

Are you fat because you eat too much? Were you always fat? Do you have fat relatives? Fat genetics?

Do you have an illness that makes you fat? Were you disabled and then you got fat? Did being fat make you disabled? Do you exercise a lot? Some? Never?

Are you gaining weight on purpose to be as fat as you can?

I don’t care. It doesn’t matter.

I don’t care why you’re fat. It doesn’t matter to me.

Fat people are treated like garbage in our culture, and that is what has to change.

I don’t care why you’re fat. I care about how you get treated, right now.

I would like for all of us to feel better about our fat selves, but that is not my ultimate goal.

I accept myself and feel ok about my fat body most of the time, but that doesn’t change how I am treated by others. How we are all discriminated against and treated cruelly by our culture.

It’s your body. You get to do with it whatever you’d like. But you don’t have to apologize for it. Or explain it.

It’s ok to be fat. Whatever the reason.

(Originally published as a blog post on 12/30/14.)