How one phonecall to Nelson Mandela changed my life

On a beautiful morning in 1997 a young student (me) called the South African Embassy in The Netherlands to ask for Nelson Mandela’s phone number. Why? Because I believed Nelson Mandela would be an excellent key note speaker at my University’s Student Conference. The one that I was helping organise. So I thought I’d give it a go.

I called and a woman answered the phone. After we exchanged a few words she connected me to the President’s office in South Africa. A short moment later a woman working for the President’s office got on the line. I politely explained to her why I wanted to contact Nelson Mandela. Before I even finished my sentence, the lady interrupted me and asked if I’d like to talk to Mr. Mandela himself. Not quite the response I expected. And at that point my mind went blank.

After what felt like a lifetime, which in reality was no more than 3 seconds, I heard the nice lady on the other end of the phone asking me if I was still there. I said yes. Then I heard the phone switch, a click, a tick, and then………a familiar voice.

HIS voice

Nelson Mandela said “Hello” …

…. to me …..and

…. I said nothing …..

The only thing I heard was my heart beating in my chest like it was ready to pop out of my body. What happened next I will regret forever and ever and ever. Instead of answering Nelson Mandela and saying “Hi” back to him, I lowered my hand, the hand that was holding the phone. Then I put the phone down and hung up (!).

Yes you’ve read it right. I hung up on Nelson Mandela. It’s true. I am the girl that hung up on Nelson Mandela 20 years ago. Till this day I cannot believe that I hung up on Nelson Mandela. Who does that? Well me obviously. But really who does that?

I literally froze in the moment. Totally frozen by fear. Gone was all the confidence that let up to that moment. I went after the big fish (sorry for calling Nelson Mandela a big fish, but you know what I mean) and when he was ready to bite I held back.

I wasn’t prepared when it came to actually talking to the man himself. I’m not one of those people who spontaneously comes up with smart things to say when confronted with a surprise (good or bad). I am not good with confrontations (good or bad).

I need preparations, I need scripts and scenarios. And hearing Nelson Mandela’s voice was clearly not in any of my scripts. And that resulted in fear. Fear of saying something stupid. Fear of not being liked.

I felt not worthy to talk to Nelson Mandela. Who am I to talk to the man who changed how the world feels about Apartheid. This man is a hero. And I was making myself so very small. I made myself disappear in his presence.

Totally ungrounded thoughts ofcourse. Nelson Mandela clearly thought I was worthy of his time. Obviously the nice lady in his office thought I was good enough to talk to him. But why wasn’t I? Because I didn’t see the situation as it was. I made it worse in my head instead of better. I was held back by fear. Like a lot of us tend to do. We take a mildly uncomfortable situation and turn it into a giant, scary nightmare.

As Seth Godin puts it, “Fear will make you think you have nothing to say.”

That is exactly what happened to me — I thought I had nothing to say to Nelson Mandela. So I didn’t.

I could not imagine a 19 year-old student just talking to Nelson Mandela on the phone and asking him for a favor. That wasn’t part of my standard, it wasn’t part of my story. In my world that could never happen. People like Nelson Mandela have people around them to protect them from people like me. That was my reality.

But Nelson Mandela made me raise my standard. He made me change my story. He proved to me that if I wanted to talk to him all I had to do is pick up the phone and ask. He made me see my unlimited capacity.

We all at one point in our lives have doubted ourselves or let fear hold us back. Keeping us from going after our dream job, starting our own business or changing careers to pursue our true calling in life.

Instead of feeling high pressure, discomfort and pain when we envision going after our goals, we should be feeling an incredible hunger. A hunger for the life we truly desire.

What I learned from that phone call 20 years ago is that I can reach any goal I set for myself. As long as I am not letting fear hold me back. Because the real fear is in waking up 20 years later and having missed out on talking to Nelson Mandela.

So when you feel fear use it to motivate yourself. Use it to awaken that hunger. That hunger of can’t live without to keep you focused on your goals and to keep going.

Find a that job that will make you happy. Build that business you’ve been thinking about starting right now. Trust your gut, be self aware and bet on your strengths.

Wondering who I am? Hi, my name is Aruna Gopal. I am a total digital nerd. I love to help people grow their business and their personal brand. To truly show the world who they are and what they have to offer. Making them shine because they are passionate about what they do along the way.

I love trying new digital tools, networks and social media. Getting others excited about social media makes me smile. Showing them how to make digital work for them personally or their business is even better. I love to make real human connections on- and offline.

Oh and I love to read, write, exercise, try new restaurants, meet new people and travel. Ok now I’ll stop. Oh wait — I bake a killer Red Velvet Cake. Now I’m really done.

Follow me on LinkedIn or Twitter or here on Medium. If you have any questions about social media, Red Velvet Cake or life in general feel free to contact me. I’m not sure I’ll be able to answer all your questions but for sure I will be able to help you.