Cold Emotions of Hopelessness

In this empty shadow of a heart,

In this empty shell of a mind,

The warm emotions of true love,

Left a million scars behind,

I thought in time all life would mend,

But alas , life had led me to another bend,

Knew not what i ought to do,

Knew not if i’ll be willing to go through,

Despite all those hurt, despite all that pain,

I thought with you I had everything to gain,

I still know now, what i knew when we met,

I shall make sure with me, you never feel regret,

That one thought, that one simple mind,

Left all the coldest emotions behind,

So I broke down my walls, Dismantled the chains,

Only thing I looked forward to , were the life’s gains,

I knew not what to do, I knew not what to say,

Maybe this was the only thing, that made you go away,

I thought i had reached the point,

Where i knew not of a better man,

I get it now, be a perfect man for you , you thought I never can,

That’s why you gave up , that’s why you build up your walls,

To make me go away without words, let you be in those empty halls,

My mind, my heart and my soul, all feels synchronized,

I guess that’s something you don’t want, so you’re putting me aside,

What of the love? What of the life? What of my thoughts? That have opened my mind,

Oh where do I go? How much more will it be? I shall let time, be the one to see…..

I will say this,

In this world of uncertainties, I can be the one you trust,

In my world, that thing is a must,

and if you could only feel, what I feel for you,

you will know why I say, its nothing but the truth,

I feel a glimmer in you, a small light of hope somewhere,

I know I can reach you, I just hope you can let me be there,

As you watch the dark skies, let me grab the moon for you,

The stars will help you see me through,

The world will spin in its time, the world will spill all whats left behind,

But if you grab my hand, it will make me strong,

Like a wind that carries on,

I know im silly, i know im a dreamer,

But that is what makes me, a true believer,

I know not why you dont want this,

am I too weird? am I missing something major? can truer emotions than mine not get you bliss?

I feel you holding back at times, despite your effort to approach,

If you truly let me, I can always be your coach,

I was afraid of love and emotion, not for what they gave,

but for what they took,

I didnt want to get in them, my whole world they shook,

But now i believe something more,

I knew it took me 26 years.

To be where I am, how I am, what I am,

found myself to be a good man, a loving man, a caring man.

Is this not what you want? is this not what you seek?

My dearest bibi, this is reality!

I know even I live in the world of fantasies,

But what I say I make happen, despite working against me are all galaxies,

I have ups and downs, i have smiles and frowns,

I feel happiness and joy, I feel sad and insane,

I feel love I feel hate, I also argue and debate,

I am sober yet hyper, I can also be a mad biker,

What is it that i lack, what is it that i havent found,

what is it that doesnt want you, to have me around?

These thoughts in depth, are the core of my reality,

We hadn't even taken time, to explore each others true personalities,

I feel theres so much more, than youre letting onto,

I am always here to listen, whatever youre going through,

That hard shell, that cold hearted talk,

Ive been there, ive walked the walk,

My gut doesn’t lie, my mind doest go astray,

For my observation, will be here to stay,

I might as well be wrong, which is but true,

All in all, I hope you understand,

I needed not an answer, I needed but just a hope,

Alas, all i got in an instant, was just a NOPE……..

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