Become Gently Assertive

I am not a doctor or psychologist I enjoy sharing what has worked for me, by stemming trauma/negative reactions and experiences to apply them to how I can change the old habits that no longer serve me any positive outcomes.

This article is based on non-physical altercations or situations.

We are always led to believe that being assertive makes you an asshole or bitchy but what if I told you that this is a lie made up due to someone else’s terrible experience with someone’s ways of setting their boundaries?

Being assertive can have a positive or negative impact on someone, or all individuals involved. Gentle Assertiveness will be the next saying for setting boundaries. These 2 simply go hand in hand.

How Do You Be Assertive in a Gentle Manner?

Quite easy once you get the hang of it, practice makes perfect as everything in life gets better with practice. You want to throw away the aggression, negative thoughts, and viewpoints.

Let’s face it, the majority of us have grown up thinking being assertive was getting loud so others will hear you, screaming/yelling, physical, and outbursting reactions. — For me anyway —

Assertive = Aggression in many people’s eyes.

This is a collection of notes your body and brain take to then replicate to the next situation that requires you to set boundaries.

Now taking it back to throwing away your thoughts, views, and all the negative situations you think about — that will hijack your reaction and thoughts — will be the key practice for becoming gently assertive.

Why Do I Need to Do This?

Your thoughts are triggered by life events that will either make you react defensively or offensively. You copy/paste these into life and even though you may be dealing with the same person who previously did these actions to you, or someone new that triggered an event previously done to you, the human nature of the brain will get triggered and act out this — as if it hijacked your body — and acts in the aggressive rage.

This isn’t your fault, it's your brain, you need to take back control and rewire the brain to set a better way to react — gentle assertiveness.

When you become assertive, the aggression will come from previous happenings. This needs to be addressed and figure out what the root cause is and where it happened first.

Taking the steps you need (as everyone will be different) can help you require your reactions and not lash out in an aggressive manner. Because being assertive doesn’t have to be being aggressive to get your point across to the other individual(s).

This will be a long process, as rewiring how you react from a set reaction that has been around for probably over 10–15+ is not an easy task. This could take a couple of years depending on the person, as everyone is different and need different time lengths.

I use gentle in front of assertive to explain that you need to go in without any spite, or negative feeling towards someone. This will help you think more clearly and become more stable with your emotions.

When you are unstable, it is easier to get you back into aggression much easier. People who benefit from you having no boundaries can react negatively, and this is why you need to focus and be more conscious when setting boundaries.

Understand where you want to be, how you want to react, and begin your transformation to become a better you. The negative reactions will bring up the past you to get you back into the negative mind frame of being aggressive. This is the trick most unstable individuals fall for.

Take back your power and keep the peace by talking not yelling or getting loud. Block out the aggressive response, or reactions, and gently assert your boundaries.

Thanks for reading my blog! I write about solutions to reactive situations, causes of mental health, and spirituality with all its blessings. These are my own experiences that I have sat down to think about and wanted to help others while telling my story giving breakdowns of becoming a better human.

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