Remote self-employment: one year on and looking ahead
It occurred to me last night that the anniversary of my leap to remote self-employment passed this week without me even noticing. It was two days ago on October 18 while I was away having a blast presenting at A11y Camp 2018 in Melbourne!
A lot has happened in this last year.
I’ve had the opportunity to give more talks than I planned for — many of which I did not have to submit a proposal for. I’ve travelled overseas for work 3 times. I’ve had a minimum of 6 months of contract visibility and security at all times. While it does keep me awake at night, in reality, I’ve never had to scramble to find work- if anything, I’m having to say no to people because I’m so heavily booked. In June, I was finally able to upgrade my tech from a 9 year old laptop I bought while I was at university to actually having the tools I need to do my work. I’ve moved from being cramped at my old desk/dressing table to having a dedicated workspace in my lounge room with natural light, furry coworkers and a window with a view. I get to work with people I’ve known for years — people who accept me just as I am and don’t give a shit that my brain works differently. I get to work flexibly and on my own terms — if I want to work in the evenings etc, I can.
Looking ahead, despite all the positive elements of contracted remote self-employment, I do feel that ultimately I’d like to return to having a job. I’d like to be employed and be a full member of a team again. To feel like I belong somewhere. No matter how inclusive and supportive a team is (and believe me, they are), when you’re a contractor, you are still an outsider.
There’s a legal line between employee and contractor that can’t be crossed no matter how heartbreaking it feels on both sides. The line exists for many reasons and I respect that. Unfortunately, there are workplaces out there that do the wrong thing and think they can get away with exploiting people by forcing them to become contractors so they can terminate them without cause anytime that suits them. A workplace in my home city tried to get me to sign up for such an arrangement thinking I’d be too stupid or too desperate to see through them. Funny how that role ended up back on the market 2 days later as permanent.
Contractor life can be hard — regardless of whether its remote or not. It’s unstable by nature, it’s costly, it’s lonely and it’s isolating. It is stressful. As much as I try to talk up the positives when asked, deep down I’m drowning in fear and sadness. When you’re an employee, there’s a lot of things that you take for granted — I know I certainly did. Leave, superannuation, public holidays, company Christmas parties, annual team conference getaways, learning and development funding and having your equipment provided for you are all the things you wish you valued more when you had them. Not because of the ‘stuff’ or monetary value, but because they were things you shared with other people. There’s a human element to all of them that isn’t there anymore when you’re on your own. There are ways around some of these things — I went to a freelancer Christmas party that was wonderful and made me feel a lot less alone and even though I have to buy my own equipment, I get to choose exactly what I want.
I’ve been looking into permanent full time roles. I haven’t had much luck. I’m autistic and I’m finding that there’s an overall sense of reluctance among employers — especially in Canberra — to consider me as a viable candidate for even that first interview. In my experience, Canberra based employers also seem to hold an expectation that I’ll apply for roles that sit below my skill and experience level or that I will accept reduced pay and conditions due to my disability. I have a strong sense of equality and social justice and frankly, that shit just isn’t going to fly with me.
I considered applying for an autism hiring program. While I respect the work they do, I haven’t yet been able to find one that wouldn’t require me to start my almost-decade long career all over again in a completely different field. I despise anything that robs me of my choices and I do believe that these programs should be open to autistic people across all fields and at all levels — not just entry level jobs in areas of expertise that neurotypicals think we’re good at.
Disability employment organisations and websites haven’t been much use either. I’m quite skeptical about their value beyond helping employers be seen to be ‘doing the right thing’. Some do it better than others but overall in my experience, they offer no more value than one of the more traditional job platforms like SEEK or even LinkedIn. Employers advertise these roles on multiple websites and I’m yet to see any evidence on how applying through one of these disability employment websites is any different to applying for that same job through other platforms or the employer’s own website for example. How many of these employers are actually hiring candidates that applied through a disability employment website as opposed to the other advertised channels? I understand that these organisations can be really helpful in onboarding successful candidates into new roles, but how do we even get past the front door?
A few good opportunities have cropped up but unfortunately many would require me to move cities which I can’t do right now. There was also another role with amazing people would have meant a significant shift in what I do on a day-to-day basis to something that I wasn’t sure was right for me just yet.
I’ve decided turn my focus away from Canberra for now and start looking into companies that hire remotely located workers as employees (not contractors). We’re living in a world that is constantly telling us that remote working is the future and I’ve been kicking its ass for a year now. To be clear, the remote part of my working life is actually pretty great and I’m good at it — it’s the contractor label that I’m keen to drop. It would be nice to find a permanent role in Canberra where I’m based but from what I’ve seen, it’s probably not going to happen. And, besides, do I really want to work with/for the type of people who do the things prospective employers in Canberra have done to me? I honestly don’t. I don’t think anyone does. My friends keep telling me that I’ve ‘dodged a bullet’ when these ridiculous things happen. That used to piss me off but I’ve come to realise how absolutely right they are in that regard. Companies really do need to do better in the way they treat disabled candidates. It is a two way process — it’s two parties coming together to see if they want to deliver amazing work together. My skills and experience are worth as much as the next person’s. The sooner companies wake up to that, the more diverse and valuable their workforces will be.
I’m currently contracted to April 2019 and the hunt for a remote permanent role is on. I’m going to take my time to find the right one and in the meantime keep contracting for my very supportive and inclusive contract client who has my back every step of the way in this endeavour. I do realise how lucky I am to have them and no matter where I end up, I always will.
