Dear 2013

Basically a love-hate relationship
I now love the lessons
I hate how you taught
I loved your time
I hate how we spent it
I loved ever smile
I hate every tear

You tried to break me
But I would only bend
You tried to kill me
But I was determined to learn how to live

You pushed me
I fell
I picked myself up
Dusted myself off countless times
And just 24 hours ago you watched me walk away, proudly
Shoulders back
Chin up
One foot in front of the other
You watched my petite little ass fade into a new time

I beat you
I won
You can’t hurt me anymore
You cant take away my new chances
Nor my new challenges
You can’t control me
I don’t even wanna hear you say “I’m Sorry”
Its too late
I’m gone

You hear that confidence in my voice?
I did that!
You deserve your credit though
Couldn’t have done it without you
But guess what ?
What’s in store for me is bigger and better than you
Now, I know it won’t be easy
It won’t be all picnics and rainbows
I can’t expect to just be treated perfectly
There’s flaws in everything

Difference is … I’m stronger!
I’ll treat me better
And then when God sees fit
He’ll bring exactly what I deserve
What I need
In due time

What’s crazy is
365 days ago I thought I had all of that
But I find joy, today in the fact that
I know its NOT YOU!
You were a much needed season
I hope I experienced every reason
I don’t want to remember you negatively
In fact, with every new, happy moment
I’ll remember just how I got here
This is my final goodbye
May we never meet like this again.

Ashlee Nicole © Jan 1, 2014 9:00am