Helping Children Manage Back-to-School Anxiety

Darby Fox
Darby Fox
Sep 5, 2018 · 4 min read

The last weeks of summer are often filled with eager anticipation and nervous excitement for the first days of school. But for many children, regardless of age, there can be a tremendous amount of anxiety and stress around the start of another school year. If a child has suffered any kind of discouragement at school due to poor academic performance, social struggles, bullying, or other difficulties, apprehension toward the first days can be immense. It’s important for parents to recognize when a child is stressed about returning to school and to take action to eliminate their worry. If a child is expressing verbal resistance to returning to school, it could be a sign that they are anxious. Some children may not be able to express their anxiety in words, so they might complain about various physical symptoms such as headaches, sleeplessness or lethargy, or stomach aches. First day of school jitters are entirely normal, but there are several steps parents can take to help children approach a new school year with positivity and enthusiasm instead of worry and dread.

Refresh their memory. Summer can seem like an eternity to a child and progress made in the previous year can be forgotten. It’s always a good idea to review how they finished back in June as the new school year approaches. This allows children to regain a sense of mastery as they begin a new year. If things didn’t go well last year, remind them that they have an opportunity to improve on the past and make the new academic year successful and positive. In general, anticipatory review gives children the time to plan a course for handling their anxiety and reminds them that they can manage a new year.

Schedule a playdate. Many children suffer anxiety at the start of the school year if they haven’t interacted with classmates over the summer. Children can feel intimidated, worrying that other children won’t be friendly to them or will have formed stronger friendships with each other, making them an outcast. It’s a good idea to have children visit with school friends before they are back at school. Reconnecting with classmates that they haven’t seen over the summer helps to build bonds and alliances, taking the stress out of seeing everyone all at once on the first day.

Make a visit to campus. For children pre-school to fourth grade, some of the biggest fears come from going back to the physical school building itself. It can look big and impersonal after a summer away. There is also great deal of anticipation around meeting a new teacher and learning a new routine. One of the best ways to ease this anxiety is to take the child to the school or to the playground a few days in advance. Let them run around and remember the fun they have had at school. Refreshing their memory in this way helps to ease the transition of the first day.

Arrange a tour. Children attending a new school can struggle with major anxiety. Taking the child inside the actual building can help to alleviate the fear of the unknown. Parents will need permission in advance to enter the school, but if the school allows it, walking around and seeing their new classroom can help diminish a child’s worry and uncertainty. They can imagine their first day, which will help them mentally prepare for the transition to a new school.

Map it out. There’s nothing better than back-to-school shopping with new binders and freshly sharpened pencils. Remind children that a new academic year is a clean slate. Help them achieve their goals by providing a calendar to chart their school activities. It should be a big desk calendar with lots of space on it, but portable so that it can be carried between school and home. Get a set of markers, crayons, or colored pencils and have the child color-code their schedule by subject. By showing children a color-coded day or week, children can anticipate what is coming and can imagine themselves getting through the day. Children will often complain about the worst subjects and the difficulty of the subject. Allow the child to choose a different color for each class or subject. Their least favorite color for their least favorite subject, their favorite color for their favorite subject, and a color for recess. By breaking down and compartmentalizing their subjects and classes, they start to develop their own strategies to balance what they are looking forward to and what they are dreading. Children are able to handle more when they can break it down and feel prepared.

Voice your support. It’s important for parents to reaffirm their support for their child as they take on a new school year. When you get your child’s schedule, talk through how long it might take to get from one class to another and review who their teachers will be. Again, acknowledge the teachers and subjects that the child may like as well as which ones they might not be as excited about. This shows the child that you’re on this journey with them and that you are available to ease any concerns they may have.

A new school year should be met with hope and and excitement instead of reluctance and dread. With these steps, you can reduce the anxiety around your child’s uncertainty and remind them of all they have to look forward to. Reassure them that you will be there for them through the ups and downs and let them know that you have confidence in their ability to succeed.

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