How a routine act of cruelty made me into an Ally of the Transgender community
It started on the subway in Chicago a few summers ago. It was a full car on a weekend afternoon, yet virtually everyone managed to have a seat. I was alone, listening to my favorite lineup of podcasts trying to push back against the usual commotion of mass transit in a big city. There were the usual train conversations surrounding me, some quiet some loud, and suddenly a man across from me in his early 20’s began shouting. “Look, those are guys!” he screamed at a number of passengers who did not appear to be connected to him. “Look, look!” he continued to shout and point to anyone who would pay attention, I removed my headphones and looked too. Two very scared teenaged trans girls huddled together in the back of the train quietly holding on to each other hoping he would stop. Others began to join in. “Awww, hell noooo,” one hollered while another said,” that’s gross.”
The berating continued. The original shouter stood up and continued taunting the two girls huddled together in the back of the train car. Otherwise passive passengers began to voice their amazement and disgust. The voices got louder as each onlooker would try to surpass the other with their disapproval both in tone and volume. It continued for what seemed like minutes as my head would spin between the various characters. Ultimately, my gaze would always return to the two girls who sheepishly looked on in terror at what was transpiring in the train car.
During this heightened and stressful time, inevitably my mind considered what to do. Upon reflection, it would have been best to go over to the girls and sit with them if they consented. I could have escorted them off the train till we got to the next station and waited with them until the next train arrived. However, in the moment, the only two options that occurred to me were confrontation and silence. I tried to rapidly calculate in my head to map out all the potential outcomes and rationales. Was it really my fight? Should I knock this guy out or tell him off? If I do tell him off, what are the chances this result in a fight? Wouldn’t it be better to attack while I have the element of surprise? What are the legal ramifications for attacking someone in a train? Was I sure he was alone? How many are with him if we get into an altercation? Does he have a gun or a knife?
I chose silence. Between the only two options that I thought I had, I still believe I chose wisely. Pretty soon my stop came, and I got off the train. As I walked away and put the headphones back in my ears, I told myself their nightmare would end soon somehow. He would get off the train, he would get tired of taunting them, or they would get off the train themselves. Nothing to worry about, I thought.

However, I did worry and it stayed with me.
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The thought festered in me for years, what could I have done? Did I do all I could? When the occasional news link that would flash on my news aggregator regarding transgender issues, I would click on it always bringing myself back to what more could I have done.
As my understanding of the issues that confront the Transgender community developed after a few years of link clicking, I thought I had found an area where I could help contribute. My occupation was that of a headhunter, a recruiter. I learned for a variety of reasons that Transgender people had a disproportionately high rate of unemployment compared to the rest of the population and I wanted to be part of the solution.
What I could do was bring my expert skills at guiding candidates through interviews and help them create great resumes, so great that it would be inconceivable that no one would hire them irrespective of their gender identity. Along with my girlfriend, I went to Las Vegas for the winter and looked for my opportunity. I decided to volunteer at the LGBT center in Las Vegas and offer my knowledge to Trans people who could benefit from understanding the machinations of how getting a job works and what prospective managers look for when they decide to hire and interview prospective employees. I decided to take an active part in making the lives of Transgender people better.
I learned a lot speaking with various Trans people on a one-to-one basis and in a group setting. Among many reasons I discovered, many Transgender people drop out of school early due to bullying received from their peers, never achieving the necessary education to be successful in a modern economy. Older Transgender people who had a lifetime of experience in a masculine field like construction or security had a hard time finding a new job in a new field that corresponded with their identity post-transition with little work experience(meanwhile also coping with Age discrimination). Many otherwise Trans neutral hiring managers were unclear about the ramifications of hiring Transgender people, what will their co-workers think, what about the bathroom situation etc. and so they didn’t. Various states lack equal employment protection for Transgender people and are put at the mercy of the ignorance of another for their livelihood. These are just a few of the reasons I discovered that were the issue.
My hope was that through my service I could make amends for not making the best decision on the train in Chicago. If the girls had better jobs, they could get their own car and not have to deal with people like him on the train. If they could afford to live in a better neighborhood, they may be less susceptible to violence. If they had a steady job, perhaps they could develop more friendships who could protect them from people who would otherwise bully them. They could get the feeling of satisfaction and confidence that comes from developing a skill and having a place of belonging. Ultimately, they would be able to afford medically transitioning so they could live everyday as themselves.
As I spent more time in group settings and during one on one conversations with Trans people, what I saw in Chicago was just another example of routine discrimination and abuse that Trans people suffer with. One would tell me how their wives had divorced them after their transition and were convinced to limit access to their children by their religious authority. Another would tell me that their parents disowned them after finding out they were Transgender. Others would tell me about being intentionally misgendered and harassed on the street for no reason other than being who they were. In spite of sometimes losing everything that had meaning in their lives, afterwards they would tell me unanimously they only regret was not transitioning sooner in life.
While a few people got new jobs with my assistance and even more candidates got job interviews, I did not feel I was making as large of an impact as I expected or hoped for. As I worked with various people, an issue that came up repeatedly was their own gender dysphoria setting them back on a chronic basis preventing them from creating positive momentum in their lives. The abuse that I witnessed on the train may have been relatively minor compared to the abuse Trans people inflict on themselves when they look in the mirror or even hear their own voice.
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After my experience in Las Vegas working with the Trans community, I finally realized where I could be the most beneficial.
Like in Las Vegas, I don’t spend a lot of my personal effort in the political advocacy space, I would prefer to help people on a one-to-one basis and take the time to understand each person with their specific circumstance.
In early 2017 I founded Athavion Global Health Partners to assist Transgender women medically transition with a quality doctor internationally where they could save tens of thousands of dollars instead of using American physicians.
The goal of Athavion is to locate the best clinics/doctors across the world and negotiate with them to bring down their price and help American patients get the care they need at an affordable price without sacrificing quality or service. I want to help patients that may never have ever considered going overseas because they did not know which doctor/hospital to trust or what would happen if they got there. Athavion pre-screens doctors and helps patients get through the various hurdles(TSA, getting through customs, finding the right hotel and local translator, personal driver) so the only anxiety is felt by loved ones at home.
I think the medical establishment has failed to properly take care of the needs of Trans people. American doctors have often focused on the “mental disorder” rather than listening to their Trans patients’ needs. Obtaining Gender Confirmation surgery takes years of waiting after having to prove to their insurance companies that it is legitimate(I still do not know who wants recreational surgery). The industry often requires Trans people to attend and spend money for therapy to justify what they already know so they can receive Hormone Treatments. Once you are finally all done, the costs can be substantially higher than getting a four year college degree. With all of these obstacles to receiving proper medical care, it is not a surprise why rates of despair are so high in the Trans community.
I wanted to found a company so Transwomen and eventually Transmen can empower themselves to take their own lives under their control. For too long, Trans-people have been unfairly overwhelmed by the costs of health care and medical transitioning and I want to be part of the solution. For those Transgender people who feel compelled to medically transition, I am offering a financially attainable goal where Trans individuals are not forced to choose between a lifetime of unsurmountable debt and depression.
I am a comfortably privileged Cisgender man so I can’t fully know all the difficulty it must be to experience gender dysphoria and the day-to-day difficulties that come with being Trans. However, I want Athavion Global Health Partners to be one place where your struggle is acknowledged with a founder who is motivated to help you successfully see your true self every day.
