When I first started coming around to feminism, humanism, and equality, I got the exact pushback you’re talking about. I asked a question and was immediately attacked for being unaware of the entirety of the issue.
It took a lot to push through that the first five or six times I encountered it to really start understanding the issues and problems facing the fight for equality, and I was coming at it as a naive man who was trying so hard to understand in good faith.
So I completely agree. Instead of dismissing people being genuinely curious we need to feed it so they can come around.