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I Met a Woman

On January 19 last year.

We met in a small café, she had a ginger drink.

Her mouth tasted of ginger when my lips touched hers in perfect synchronization.

We held each other for a moment in the chill Scandinavian sunshine.

Often when I am driving I listen to the music we used to make love to and I think about how lucky I was to have met her.

To have experienced what we had together.

It’s a lottery out there. And I got lucky. For a while.

I feel deeply privileged and grateful that I can experience love (or whatever it was) in that way.

She told me she wanted a man and that I was a lad. I wrote her a letter.

This is what I wrote:

Dear Amber,

I understand your reasons for wanting to finish this. I can honestly say that I have enjoyed every day, every hour, every second and every nano second with you. Our walks, our conversations, eating together and of course the intense love making. It has been a joy to communicate with you in English, especially the sharing of ideas and thoughts on philosophy, spirituality, personal development.

I know now that you want more or something different. We should not be with someone who does not live up to our expectations. It was always a challenge with the physical distance between us and circumstances. I told you earlier that I did not like “hiding” you. We spoke about it, I remember.

You said to me a while ago that you would like me to reveal more. You know a great deal about me. I’ve told you very personal things, my relationship with my parents, my childhood, previous relationships. You are the first for many many years whom I have stood before and cried. Things cannot always be explained, for example why I didn’t say “I love you”. You said recently that you can love someone without saying it.

On being a man or a lad. Only your perception and expectations matter. I’m obviously not going to change your perception. It is good that you know what you want. You will no doubt find your man and gentleman.

We have listened to some beautiful songs together and the great thing about songs is that they are a reference, a link to a time, an experience and a person.

Here is one of our favourites.

I wish you well in everything you do.


Prussian Blue

Amber replies:

Dear Prussian Blue,

Thank you for a very beautiful mail. I cried when I read it.


I wept when I read your letter. Original photo: Unsplash Anna Demianenko

Click recommend if you’d like others to find this article. This piece was first published on Medium in March 2016. Photos are filtered through Prisma’s illegal-beauty filter, originally Unsplash.

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