There Was No Blood
My mother was deeply traumatized too; she told me about it
She uses her unhappy childhood as an excuse for cruelty to others.
Her mother died when she was six.
She hated her mother and perhaps felt guilty about her death.
She then went to live with her aunt who died just a few years later.
She missed her aunt more than her own mother. Her aunt had treated her very well, spoiling her in compensation for her mother’s death 💀. Until I heard this story I couldn’t figure out how my mom grew up so spoiled and selfish.
Then she had to return to her home.
That does not give her a licence to browbeat and humiliate anyone, let alone defenceless children.
She was a nurse so she was careful never to break our skin.
Maybe she should get a medal 🥇 for that.
I know this bitterness is ugly.
Thank you for taking the time to consider my situation; I appreciate deeply that you have speculated about a solution.
Just this morning I was imagining her funeral. The local priest has a reputation for overly-glowing eulogies of the deceased.
I imagined surreptitiously bringing a megaphone to the funeral, leaving my pew as the oration became less and less credible and walking down the aisle towards the back of the church broadcasting these words:
“I must be at the wrong funeral”