Tell me I’m Pretty

Living in the information age is tough, but being a millennial in the information age is tougher.

J. Arthur Austin
Aug 25, 2017 · 3 min read

We love to hear about ourselves. It is our doomed fate to live in this era of so much information that if we are truly unworthy of note everything will pass us by like we are just shitty street signs. What we need to set us apart has gotten stupider and stupider as time goes on because the average attention span (I speculate just as everyone else does) gets worse and worse. Nonetheless we live in this digital age of digital trends and digital people. So, in that respect there comes a time when we do some stuff for the internet. Some people do it more than others. Some people definitely are more egregious about it. What I am referring to is the concept of posting stuff online for the internet points (a generalized term not meant to favorite one specific platform).

Internet points have taken over some peoples way of thinking. “ How can I get more internet points?” “What can I do to have people give me more of those thing?” Well, luckily for you there are a few proven methods to garnishing your internet point salad with more internet points. Well, here is the thing. Hear me out on this before you start throwing your torches trying to burn this stable before it’s built please. They mostly involve being a female. Hey, thats all fine too but here is another factor involved. They mostly involve attractive and/or fit women. Hey listen here there is another factor it mostly involves being those other two things I have said and taking your clothes off. Well, that leaves us with not a lot of options for reaching max popularity for internet points.

Listen, I am in no way advocating this practice, and its both the fault of the people who popularize this existence and culture onto the internet as much as it is women who indulge those who seek that sort of “thrill” over the internet all in the vain of people sending them more and more internet points.

Let us look at one of the most prolific uses of this strategy in modern history, the Kardashians. I know this only gives them more attention, but that argument is old and played out and honestly think pieces can be whatever they want. For what seems like forever now we have grown accustomed to hearing about these people all the time, but why? Why has that name been turned into a billion dollar brand? Well, first of that Rob fellow got the whole family famous by being a representative of that fellow named O.J. Simpson. Everyone should know that O.J. was the man whom may or may not have (he killed her(I presume)) killed his ex-wife. Anyway, that’s how they got their start. Then, for some reason in the reality TV era of broadcast networking, someone gave the family of the dead Rob Kardashian a TV show. Then some time later, I’m sure through a process of drawing straws, Kim Kardashian lost and had a sex tape with a lesser known rapper leak, and they have been living it up ever since. One of the biggest rises to fame in recent times began with that tape. Now, they regularly post sexy almost naked photos of themselves periodically and other publicity stuff that unimportant.

Tell me I’m pretty. It is seldom said, but it is thought. Especially over the internet its thought. People like to hear about themselves. They like it when people tell them nice things. Living in this time though, its tough if you aren’t clickworthy. You are just another blip on the oversexed internet. That’s fine, it just leads to more problems I feel. Because people like to be told they are pretty. Everyone does. That is why people seek companionship, so at least one person can tell them that they are pretty.

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