Austin Lammers

I run, or think about running, almost every three days. This is why.

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This is a photo of me running.

I run to smell the daffodils on Skysail Lane

I run to watch the squirrels frolic among the Red Oaks on Breakwater Drive

I run to feel the fresh Colorado mountain air, suffused with ash and smoke and diesel exhaust, invade and eventually compromise my lungs

I run because there’s no better time to blast “Return of The Mack” directly into my eardrums than at 7:45 a.m.

I run to feel these tiddies bounce

I run to keep these tiddies from expanding because new wardrobes are expensive and I have $67 in my checking account

I run to forget how…


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Art by Adrianna Lammers

Yesterday I listened to “Ribs” by Lorde.

Because “Ribs” by Lorde is good. And listening to it feels like jumping off a cliff and breaking the surface of cold lake water for the first time, but for four minutes and eighteen seconds.

And I needed that feeling. Because it’s September. And in September the Sun traps you in a net of heat and won’t let go until the back of your shirt is damp and you look like you’ve just wrestled a twelve-year-old for a Snickers bar on the hot pavement outside a Kum-N-Go.

In these four minutes and eighteen…


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I have a four-year-old brother. His name is Aiden Joseph, AJ for short. I returned home for Spring Break the first week of March, and to AJ’s delight, the world ended. Now we spend all day together.

For a little while longer, I’ll be documenting the outlandish moments we share. There are many. Enjoy.

The Siege of Roper Hill

A few days ago AJ and I went frisbee golfing at a grassy course north of downtown Lincoln.

I took him for the first time a few weeks prior, at a nine-hole course tucked underneath the shade of a small forest at sunset. He kept up…


Who wins if dining rooms stay open or stay closed? Not servers.

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Photo by Stanford Smith on Unsplash

In late May I began working at a restaurant in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, three weeks after the city saw its peak in COVID-19 cases. My first week on the job, after running out of linens to fold and countertops to re-wipe, I’d walk through the empty dining room and stare out at a hand-drawn “Everyone is Essential!” sign taped to a window on a building across the street. I wondered if the trope applied to me, a server with no one to serve.

Built less than two years ago, the restaurant blends in with a neighborhood of large, elegant…


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Photo by Kelly Lacy from Pexels.

Hi.

First off, there is so much to say, and I’m incapable of saying it all. I hardly know where to start. So I’ll start with a story.

In sixth grade, I was placed in an advanced reading class. On the first day, my teacher presented to our small group an extensive project we’d spend the year working on. Using family records, census data, and Ancestry.com, each student was to trace their lineage as far back as they could. Then, once lost in the fog of history, we’d create a page for each ancestor shrouded with stories and scanned photographs…


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I have a four-year-old brother. His name is Aiden Joseph, AJ for short. I returned home for Spring Break the first week of March, and to AJ’s delight, the world ended. Now we spend all day together.

For the next few months, I’ll be documenting the outlandish moments we share. There are many. Enjoy.

Finals Week

The older ones have forgotten about me.

Mom says they’re “busy with college,” but if “college” is laying on the couch watching videos of old people talking until 2 a.m., higher education is not for me. If I want a lesson, I turn on Paw Patrol…


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From left: ESPN analysts Mel Kiper Jr. and Booger McFarland. AP Photo/Steve Luciano

Every 12 years, America’s ultra-elite meet at the Bohemian Grove to decide who will reside in the White House for the next three terms. NFL Draft analyst Mel Kiper Jr. and former NFL defensive tackle-turned color commentator Booger McFarland cover this year’s event.

Mel Kiper Jr.: Good evening folks, I’m Mel Kiper Jr.

Booger McFarland: My name is Booger.

MKJ: Welcome to the 2020 Presidential Draft, sponsored by ExxonMobil, McKesson Medical, and Walmart. Tonight, America’s secret band of autocrats will select the faces of our nation for the forthcoming three terms. …


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I have a four-year-old brother. His name is Aiden Joseph, AJ for short. I returned home for Spring Break the first week of March, and to AJ’s delight, the world ended. Now we spend all day together.

For the next few months, I’ll be documenting the outlandish moments we share. There are many. Enjoy.

On Animal Crackers


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I have a four-year-old brother. His name is Aiden Joseph, AJ for short. I returned home for Spring Break the first week of March, and to AJ’s delight, the world ended. Now we spend all day together.

For the next few months, I’ll be documenting the outlandish moments we share. There are many. Enjoy.

Eating out

Austin Lammers

A collection. M&J, USD. co-creator - @2foldwriting

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