If it’s not about misogyny then why is everyone so afraid to talk about being a woman? Not implying that any of these people are women, just an honest question.

…What? How are you not implying that these people are women?

I imagine it is because trans men and transmasculine folks have their manhood/non-woman-hood negated by ignorant people in the world all the time and they tire of this.

Well, yes. That is pretty much exactly why. They are also negated by people who use the exact same language you use. To give you an example, I ran into another detransitioning woman and had a discussion which turned into an argument because, quite frankly, I was freaked out by the number of TERFs congregating around them. One of the people following the discussion wrote me a fairly reasonable, well-worded explanation of how and why their female partner detransitioned. I responded by saying thank you for sharing, but you still don’t get to decide whether or not transition is right for other people. They then proceeded to harass me and call me a straight girl. I hadn’t mentioned my sexuality at all, am bi, have struggled with accepting that I’m into girls and was in the middle of coming out to my parents, which was already rough. It really felt like repeatedly being punched in the gut.

So yeah, stories like yours are used to invalidate and insult transmasculine people all the damn time. That doesn’t make your experiences bad or inherently invalidating, but if you’re genuinely interested in talking more I would suggest you watch your language. Not as in don’t curse, as in literally pay attention to what words you’re using. The difference in definitions between a pure social basis for gender and gender as an innate instinct is huge. That gap includes a hell of a lot of things that are incredibly important to trans people and to describing their experience. Using certain words in a way that contradicts our generally held definitions puts people on edge, because it’s often a prelude to a transphobic attack.