Day 4! Congruence!

I find myself in bed pondering the positives and negatives in my life.

I examine the lane my life is moving on and compare it to the lane i want it to be on. One ever present fact is whether I do something or choose to do nothing, life goes on, I get older and whether I like it or not, I’m moving on a lane.

What determines the pleasure factor of that ride is dependent on my actions now and laying a strong foundation.

Will it be rickety, hard, arduous and frustrating? I hope not.

Will it mostly smooth, enjoyable and pleasurable? I hope so.

Taking the long look into my past, i search for congruence. I have always been a creature of interest. Not self-interest, just interest.

Growing up, i wanted to be many things and many things after, i find that I want be many more. In seeking congruence, i aim to measure whether my interests from my childhood years hold sway over my interests and career path[s] now.

My earliest known career choice was to be an astronaut. This was at age 4(or 5) and I can still remember what influenced this decision. I clung unto this dream for some time till i decided i wanted to be a pilot then an aerospace engineer (all before age 13), then an archaeologist, historian, economist, stock broker and many more.

I discovered it was okay to dream and switch dreams at will as a child but as life goes on, those easy choices become tough decisions. I also realized early on that I wasn’t a one career individual. I find the prospect of spending years in an organization that isn’t mine, dreary and depressing and even if that organization were mine, I would feel caged.

“What do you want to be?” was a question that wracked me for a long time. I never could settle on one and that question had only one answer.

The journey to self-discovery is never an easy one and coming to terms with this truth about myself career-wise took a long time. Time wasted in depression, pressures to pick one and stick to it and trying to match careers to financial prospects.

Present day, it’s a question I don’t shy from anymore. I never say I want to “be”, I answer with I do and what i see myself doing next.

I treat everything thing in my life as a project. A project that leads to the next. The defined time frame keeps me sane and motivated. I have a big picture of how everything fits and each project I undertake brings me closer.

Realizing I didn’t have to be anything took a great chip off my shoulder and my life has been significantly happier since i gained that perspective.

Everything I do now and want to do fits into my big picture. A picture called Congruence.