And they don’t take American Express…

Author’s Note: You can read the first part of this entirely true story here.

—

“What do you mean you don’t take American Express?” I asked while also realizing that the question was utterly idiotic at the same time.

“We don’t accept it,” she replied.

“Do you know of a place around here that does?” I asked, fearing the worst.

“No idea,” she continued, “I’m not from around here. Just helping out my brother.”

I didn’t want her damn life story. I wanted a room. I wanted to sleep. I looked at my watch. It was midnight and I was supposed to be at the site working in eight hours. I racked my brain and remembered…

“My travel agent said there was a Super 8 in Hallock.” I exclaimed half-heartedly. “Can you tell me how to get to Hallock, Minnesota?”

“Sure,” she replied cheerfully, “You go up the street and make a right at the big tree, then follow it around the bend. Make certain you take the right fork…”

“Do I sound like I’m from around here?” I emphatically asked cutting her off.

“Sorry but that is the only way I know.” she replied.

I remembered the only sign I saw on the interstate. Hallock, MN to the right. Was Hallock going to save me? Or would it send me onto the never-ending hell I was already in?

“There was a sign on the interstate,” I stated half-thinking out loud, “I saw a sign for it on the interstate.”

I thanked her for her time and left. I got back on the interstate looking carefully for the sign that would lead me to my new destination.

On to Hallock, Minnesota…

—

I sailed along the interstate, doing the speed limit of course, expecting the concrete barrier of death to make an encore performance. After about twenty minutes on the road, there it was forcing me once again over to the side of the road. Just like clockwork, I had the pleasure of riding for another two miles on the rumble strips while I waited for my opportunity to get back on actual road.

After what seemed like forever, I was able to get back on the actual road. The speed limit jumped immediately back to 75 and I took off!! It didn’t take long before I saw my only sign of hope — Hallock, MN to the left. Dear Lord let this work!!

I turned off and made the left. Just like the interstate, I could not see anything. I was getting to the point that I was expecting to see headlights come up from behind me just like those ghost stories you used to tell as a kid. The only difference was that this would be real…and I would be the one ending up dead. It had been that kind of night.

As the darkness crept in, I sped up trying to get to Hallock. Even though it felt like forever, it actually did not take long to get there. (Probably because I was speeding excessively.) I was determined to find a place to sleep.

The only problem with Hallock that I could tell at that time of the night was that it would need to double in size just to be Pembina. From all appearances, it was literally a one intersection town. But they had a Super 8, so there was some hope for these people. Right???

Wrong. I came into Hallock from the west side and went straight through town heading out the east side. I did not see a Super 8. I turned around and went back in turning onto the street heading north. Nothing. I turned around and headed south. Nothing.

What the fuck was going on?! Where is the Super 8??

Knowing that I needed to find a place, I went to the Caribou Inn — seemingly the largest place in town. I got out of my car and walked in. There was a phone in the lobby with a sign next to it.

Use the phone if you would like to get a room.

I picked up the phone and looked at my watch. 12:45. I may still get six hours of sleep in. A woman answered the phone.

“Do you have rooms available?” I inquired meekly.

“Yes,” she answered.

Knowing that I would have to ask anyway, I mustered up what remaining strength I had. “Do you take American Express?”

“No we don’t,” she responded immediately.

I felt like I had been hit squarely in the gut once again. I asked her if she knew of a place nearby that did. She wasn’t certain of one but recommended that I check with the motel on the other street. The motel I passed because it looked like it belonged on the seedier side of town. (Who knows…maybe it was.) I hung up the phone and left.

I got in my car and drove the roughly 200 yards to the other street and that motel. I looked at my watch again. Almost 1 a.m. Sleep no longer mattered — I was more interested in simply surviving this nightmare. I was going to deal with the rest later.

I parked the car in front of the office. The door was open and I saw a light. I did not know if that was a good sign or not. I walked up to the door and rang the doorbell.

“What do you want?!” a booming voice bellowed from off in the distance.

I did not answer. I saw this fat old guy get up from a chair and start walking towards me at the door. He opened the door.

“What do you want?” he asked somewhat obviously disgusted that I was bothering him this late.

“I have to ask you something first,” I continued, “Do you take American Express?”

“No,” he answered.

My head dropped. My body slumped. I was done. I had traveled for seventeen hours to get to this damn place, then almost another two hours trying to find a room. Now, I am dealing with a grumpy bastard who did not want to be bothered.

You could only imagine my surprise when the grumpy bastard turned out to be Santa Claus.

“What’s wrong?” he asked noticing my obvious state.

I told him the whole story from the moment I left Presidio that morning and the work I was coming to Pembina to do. He listened intently before cutting me off.

“You know what,” he offered, “I have a small room that I will give you and we will figure out the billing later.”

“Thank you, thank you..” I said graciously. I was going to still get about four, maybe five hours of sleep.

He gave me a key and told me where the room was. I got in my car and parked it near the room. I grabbed my suitcase and opened the door. He wasn’t kidding when he said it was a small room. I could touch both sides of the room when I stood in the middle. I even had to turn sideways to slide in between the bed and the TV so I could get into the bathroom.

But I had a room. I was going to get some sleep. But the only problem —

I had a hotel room I could not pay for. This was not over yet.

Off to Pembina…again

—

I woke up the next morning about 5:30. Four hours of sleep was going to have to cut it. I had to get to the site, in Pembina, and I had no clue as to how long it would take. I also had to get money out of the bank using my American Express card and I did not know how I was going to do that either.

I called my boss before 6 a.m. and woke him up. I flat out told him that I had a hotel room I could not pay for and he was going to have to tell me what I would need to do. I also told him that I was going to try and find way to get cash to do it, but it was not looking to promising.

I left Hallock and headed back to Pembina. Before I went to sleep, I looked up the only bank in town. Finding it was easy enough, but it was not going to open until later that morning.

The problem was I needed to eat breakfast. The only “store” open at that time of the day was the Duty Free America store. I went inside to see if they actually took American Express. Lo and behold, they actually did. Now, did they actually sell edible food. Well, it was food and it was edible per se — but it was not what I wanted to live off for the next three days.

“OK,” I thought, “This will come to an end. It has to.”

I went to the site and taught my first class. Afterwards, I got back in the car and came back to the bank. I parked the car and walked inside.

“May I help you?” the teller asked politely.

“Yes, I would like to get a cash advance on my card.” I said taking my American Express out of my wallet.

Once she got a clear look at my card, she replied, “Sorry, but we don’t take American Express here.”

“Do you know of a bank that does? I really need to get cash.” I asked.

We talked for a couple of minutes and she recommended that I go back to Hallock and check there. I thanked her for her time. I looked at my watch. It was time to go back to the site to teach another class.

Back to Hallock…

—

I tried to call my boss but got his voicemail. I called my wife and told her the story. While trying to be supportive, I could tell she was holding back laughter. I told her to call the bank in Hallock and ask if they would do a cash advance on a credit card. She said she would and then call me back. I told her I may not answer because I was so close to the border that my phone may switch over to roaming and to just leave a voicemail.

After my next class, I headed to Hallock without checking my voicemail. I simply forgot to do it. I arrived at the bank, parked the car, and went inside. The teller asked me if they could help me. I told them what I wanted and showed them my American Express card.

“We don’t take that here.”

No longer giving a damn, but having to be socially respectable, I asked them if they knew of a bank that might. They recommended I go to Cavalier, ND because there were three banks there. They felt fairly confident that one of them would take my American Express. I asked the obvious question about directions. They told me 60 miles DUE WEST from Hallock. I thanked them for their time and left.

I had one more class to teach and I needed to still eat lunch before that class. I would have to do that later. I called my wife again and told her to call the banks in Cavalier and directly ask them if they would do a cash advance for an American Express card. I told her to emphasize that point with them. She said she would and I told her I would call her once I was on my way to Cavalier.

Off to Cavalier…

—

After my last class and another highly nutritious meal at Duty Free America, I got in the car and headed to Cavalier, ND. Fortunately, getting there was not an issue. Turn right instead of left.

I called my wife and she said that one bank would do a cash advance for an American Express card and to go there first.

“Thank the good Lord above,” I prayed out loud, “Victory is mine.”

I got to the bank, parked the car, and walked inside. I was going to get the biggest cash advance possible because I would be there another two and half days minimum. I stepped up to the teller.

“May I help you?” she asked.

“Yes, I would like to get a cash advance on my credit card” was my answer thinking this was coming to an end.

“Sure, I just need your credit card and an ID,” she stated.

I took out my driver’s license and handed it to her. I then took out my American Express.

“We don’t take that here.”

I snapped. All of my usual decorum, patience under fire, and such was gone.

“My wife called this bank. Spoke to someone at this bank and they said that you would took American Express,” I demanded, “Now run my card or find out who told her that you did.”

The woman took my card and walked off. I could see that she was talking with someone and seemed to be doing something. I had already figured that the result was not going to be pleasant for me. She returned with my card already in hand — but no cash.

“I tried to run it and it did not go through,” she kept talking, “And we did figure out who spoke to your wife and corrected their mistake.”

“Their mistake” was all I heard. It was “their mistake” and I had to continue to suffer for it. I took my card and asked how to get to Ramsey Bank. The woman gave me directions and I left.

Off to Ramsey Bank…but still in Cavalier though.

—

Getting to Ramsey Bank was not too difficult. I parked the car and walked inside. There were three young women sitting there.

“May I help you?” the teller asked with a smile on her face.

No longer holding out hope, I was completely honest. “I doubt you can, but let’s try.” My honesty caught her a little off guard but I posed the question. She didn’t think they did, but asked her manager who said to give it a try.

I watched the woman try to give me a cash advance in multiple different ways. She then brought the card back to me and apologized for not being able to help me. I acknowledged their genuine support and asked how to get to the last bank in Cavalier.

“No,” they collectively ordered, “Sit down. We will call for you.”

I smiled — partly from the help and partly from the relief I felt that at least I would not spend all of my time driving all over creation looking for a bank that would take American Express.

Admittedly, looking back on this, I should have known better than to hold onto hope.

Those three women called every bank and financial services institution in the phone book. I knew they did. I watched them each make at least ten phone calls. So, when they all looked at me, I knew it was over.

“You may have to go back to Grand Forks to find one.” the manager told me.

“Not happening,” I responded, “it is my company’s problem now.”

I thanked for their time and left. I was heading back to the motel. On the way, I had started to run out of gas. After 500 miles of driving, I needed gas. Amazingly, it only took two stops at gas stations to find one that took American Express. So, I filled up the tank and got one of those “lovely” gas station meals you get — when you have absolutely no other choice.

On the road back to Hallock…

—

My boss finally called me back and had no answers. He was not certain as to what to do at this point. He recommended I called Tracy, our resident guru, which I did. I dialed her number and she actually answered.

“Do you want the long version or the short version?” I asked.

“Short,” she answered.

I told her that I had a hotel room I could not pay for because no one took American Express. She told me that I vaulted to #1 on her list of things to do. I told her that the program manager said she would use her credit card to pay the bill and Tracy said that was what she was going to do to the exact same thing.

So, my program manager faxed a copy of her credit card and her driver’s license to my grumpy old Santa Claus. I even got them on the phone together so they could run the card while talking directly to each other. The man saved me but I was checking out a day early and going back to Grand Forks after my job was done that Friday. I was done with this nightmare!

He ran the card and the bill was paid. Grand Total : $60 for a two night stay.

—

Afterword:

I did actually find one restaurant in Hallock that took American Express. A little place called The Caribou Grille. Sound familiar?? Yes, it was connected to The Caribou Inn that did NOT take American Express.

I had two jack and cokes before I even ordered dinner. The waitress flirted with me trying to get a bigger tip even asking what brought me to Hallock.. I told her my adventure. She stopped flirting and started laughing to the point of crying. She even brought her co-workers over to hear my story.

When the bill came, my drinks were $1.50 each. I looked at her and said, “Honey, I got two hands and they’re empty. Two more before I leave.”

“Are you sure?” she genuinely asked, “Are you going to be able to drive?”

I pointed out the window. “See that white building. That’s my motel. I can crawl there.”

By the way, I was sent to Warroad, Minnesota a month later. I will let you finish that story…