My door got locked from inside today. After reaching office and settling down, i realized that I haven’t picked up my keys. I was restless throughout the day and left office early. I saw her once near the escalator, she was carrying one big luggage and seemed like heading towards somewhere along with a bunch of girls.

I was curious. I thought I will talk to her, but something made me halt.

It had been more than a couple of times I had already approached her and didn’t want to impose myself on her or sound like a desperado. Generally if you talk to someone, it follows the laws of reciprocity. They will at least look at you or pass a smile. If you’re a real irritating character, may be, they will at least give you the angry or the fuck off stare. But you can’t help it when the person simply stays neutral.

I went back and googled her accounts.

Twitter- check

Facebook- check

Holy mother! My boss has commented on one of her pics. She clearly comes with the “hazardous for work” label. I should stay away. I can’t mix business with pleasure. I’ve been the most extrovert guy around always and I’m the one who is first to approach anybody when it comes to breaking the ice. If I like a girl or find her beautiful, it will take me seconds to go and tell her right on the face. Inhibitions are something I never had in life. Maybe being the only son in our extended family made me heavily pampered by everybody around. It gives you certain supernatural confidence once you walk out of your doors and face the real world. You presume that the world is a good place and people have kind hearts.

How many times when you’re traveling somewhere have you seen a baby of early years around? It’s fearless. It can simply come and sit on your lap despite having never seen you before. If he/ she really likes the geometry of your face, your beard might get pinched or you might get a tiny slap followed by a chuckle and naughty giggle. And you would love that part. That’s the beauty of childhood innocence and the magic of getting pampered in a family. You tend to be compassionate with a child like fearlessness.

So back to the girl.

I saw she tagged that reporter guy again. This was now forming a pattern over a period of time. The only two guys interested in her updates were her father and Mr.Eccentric.

Back off! These were the only two words I could hear while browsing through her profiles.

It made me upset. It broke my confidence. All these years I used to think that it’s easy to get what you want. You like a girl, you approach her, be good, treat her well, be a good listener, show respect and eventually you can be close to her.

My other presumption, when I was in mid twenties, was that why are people so crazy about getting married or finding the right bride/ groom. Why can’t they simply find their true love and be with them forever. I thought it’s easy since I had a girlfriend who was super caring. It was that happily-ever-after bullshit flying around.

It’s 2015 and all of that has evaporated. All my presumptions, all my beliefs, everything has been brutally killed by karma.