Notes on The Desire of Fame.
To dream of becoming a big star is often considered a symptom of narcissism. In a society that values talent over integrity, and profit over humanity, the desire to transcend a ‘normal life’ is symbolic of a society which links personal worth to our labor.
The desire for fame is not only the quest for attention, but also the more common search for acceptance. Fame promises a smoother path on the navigation of existence. Fame suggests you can walk into a room with the ability to make people’s day without uttering a word. It says that you won’t only have an easier time making friends, but you can hand pick the ones you like, irrespective of how rich and beautiful they may be and despite how unattractive and unlovable you may feel. It promises lavish resorts on private beaches, and VIP invite only, instant access to exclusive parties. Fame has the allure of widespread preferential treatment.
Put oddly, fame is to return to the state of infancy. Children are the only people except celebrities who don’t have to do anything to receive love, admiration and constant praise. Any observational time spent around celebrities will confirm most conversation directed their way is positive affirmations. It’s reminiscent of the way you would address a small child in fear of diminishing their self-esteem. The search for stardom is undermined through the belief it’s roots lay in shallowness and pretension but on closer inspection protection is the sole goal.
As we’ve learned from countless celebrity rehab admissions, overdoses, tragic deaths and addiction, public popularity isn’t a perpetual red carpet event. The perks of fame are often hijacked by distrust. The many friends you hope to gain become a source of pain. One develops recurring memories about their lives before vast attention; who was there for me? Who showed romantic interest in me before the money? Becomes the new internal dialogue on loop. Josh Radner of hit show How I Met Your Mother states,
“As the show got more successful I got more depressed.” Cameron Diaz reminds us, “If you’re looking for fame to define you, you’ll never find happiness.” And Lady Gaga decides “I don’t like wasting my time shaking people’s hands and smiling and taking selfies, it feels shallow to my existence, I have a lot more to offer to my image, I don’t like being used to make people money. When my passion and creativity take a back seat, that makes me unhappy”.
People whom often dream of the luxurious lives they want to lead neglect thinking of how isolating those lives can feel. We only consider it ‘better’, much like everything else we don’t know well. We forget the vast majority of the world cannot relate to the lives we dream of living in actuality. Your success can become proof of others failure. Just because our lives may be fulfilled by the achievement of fame does not produce the same effect on those around us and more damagingly the people we love. Fame won’t save people but it can temporarily soothe the inner child who wants protection. The foundation of the desperation for fame is in those who so desperate to be seen they have a paralyzing fear of being forgotten. Maybe it is some of these people who think of death frequently.
Our society brands those with international popularity as the pinnacle of prestige, worthy of awe, intrigue and various media platforms that pry into their lives in the name of entertainment. Popular people dominate the majority of popular culture. This is the unspoken admission that a ‘good life’ is one where people know who you are. But in no way do I aim to say that fame ought not to be sought, and a simple manifestation of childhood negligence.
Fame is crippling when aimlessly chased, and obtained for the sole pleasure of ownership. But international acclaim has been a great benefit for many: it has given rise to ideas, spread awareness, and created access to political spaces, funded youth incentives, and the opportunity to make money outside of their chosen career path, in the form of public speaking, acting, and investment in stocks and shares. Without mass awareness Martin Luther King’s words wouldn’t have been as influential, he wouldn’t have contributed to the removal of American racial segregation. But tragically it is also this exposure that led to his demise. But one can argue that dying whilst fighting for what you believe in is one of the most esteemed deaths you can have.
Einstein said, “Only a life lived in service to others is worth living”. So it’s not that we shouldn’t seek fame it’s that we should do so, with an understanding of what we want to do with the world stage we’ve induced. We should know what we want to say, and how we want to say it, before the press says it for us.
Buying new things becomes tiresome. Even gifts for others get tricky as you yearn for meaningful friendships. If you pay for a group holiday to Jamaica it can quickly change peoples motivations to be in your company. We must be realistic about how quick the novelty of the perks pass. We should be aware that the reality of making more money and gaining free stuff makes you more susceptible to impostor syndrome and insufferable guilt. This is especially the case for the more sensitive and politically minded amongst us. For it’s in this time, we start to understand the grave injustice of the world.
Lets take Sarah for example. Sarah had desired to be famous since her youth. In her mid twenties she gets her wish.
Her eventual discomfort and internal dissatisfaction is rewarded in the form of free clothes. Sarah will replace these items in 6 months because they’re no longer trendy, and a threat to her public image of ‘influencer’. She may want to keep those clothes in her fashion archive, so she’ll inevitably need more space, and then a bigger house. At first, Sarah found the idea of fame tantalizing but she is now beginning to realise how impractical the accumulation of stuff really is. Sarah now has four gifted and two heavily discounted cars, so now she needs a second home, but the house is a grand Victorian build, so it needs maintenance and she’s never there, so now she requires house help, she pays them, as well as the dog walker, and the chef because her lifestyle is too hectic to cook. And then on her next big cheque she doesn’t profit, she breaks even. She is no longer living, but working to maintain items she no longer cares for.
The desire for fame isn’t one to ridicule, but to recognise as symbolic of a world that doesn’t acknowledge the beauty and worth of the ordinary. Popularity is synonymous with likability. But the likes are superficial. It is not based on the contents of your character, loyalty or friendliness. It is about how well you please your audience’s expectations. You’re as good as your last album. Celebrities are a particular demographic of people who are often robbed of their humanity in the form of online criticism, death threats, viral jokes and intrusion into their private lives. Sadly, it’s those who become famous who will find this the hardest to cope with, as the desire for mass recognition is rooted in wanting to be accepted. What we must do is find ways to celebrate the everyday jobs and people we are reliant on, to not make them feel as though their labor is not recognised and disrespected. But if you want fame to work for you, you must have an understanding of what you want to do with it before it does away with you.
Ayishat A. Akanbi
