How Do You Mourn a Suicide?
When someone dies of causes that are beyond him/her, it is easier to report and mourn. You can even blame the circumstances or situation.
"Oh, I lost a friend to Cancer,"
"He had ordinary appendicitis, the doctors killed him with their negligence"
We have had several situations like that and the thought of having someone to blame makes mourning less saddening. But when someone deliberately takes his own life, who do you blame? What do you say you lose him to? Who do you blame for your sorrow?
Who are you to contest his existence with him? Shouldn't the memories be enough consolation? Isn't suicide part of freewill as given by the creator? Isn't suicide a product of democracy?
Saying 'I lost a friend to Suicide' makes it less painful. If the statement makes any sense, It denies the fact that your loved one deliberately put you in sorrow.
How do you blame a dead man? In a society that does not speak ill of the dead, in a society where people still do not take mental health serious. How do you look in the face of others and tell them your loved one killed himself. How do you tell them he was not a victim of Nigeria but a victim of himself? How do you tell them he died in his mind before taking the action. How do you tell them he has fought battles in his head for years? How do you tell them he simply lost the battle?
And if he is unlucky enough to be seen after taking poison, how do you fight for his life when he himself wants to lose it? Will he be happy with the pain you and the doctors conspire to put him through? And if he survives that stage, will your counseling work? Wont it be too late?
How do you counsel a potentially suicidal friend? How does the society help? How do you apportion the blame?
How do you mourn a suicide?