S.O.M #SaveOurMen

As I read through my twitter timeline this morning for a bit of motivation (or maybe I just wanted to know what everyone was saying), something caught my eyes. It was a 2 min 13 sec video about a Canadian judge’s remarks during a rape case he handled in 2014. You can watch it here

The following statements were made by the judge; “Why couldn’t you just keep your knees together?” WOW!, he also said “Some sex and pain sometimes go together…that’s not necessarily a bad thing.” and “Young women want to have sex, particularly if they’re drunk.” Really? I was stunned. I have read and heard a lot of comments concerning rape cases and I believe is a very unfair imbalance.

If we think objectively around the topics of rape and prostitution, we will realise that men have big problems. Much bigger than the women do. The men involved bring more concern to the table. I have never been able to process how rape is ever the victim’s fault. Are these victims supposed to posses supernatural powers to control sexual urges and thereby avoid rape? Some people even go ahead to justify it. Sardonic.

And for prostitution and human trafficking; If there’s no one demanding for sex with monetary rewards, will prostitution and human trafficking be areas of concern as they are right now?

These things exist the other way round as well but there’s obviously a much greater frequency with women on the receiving end.

Why has moral development for men never been a big movement? Men need it as much as the women do. If not more. There are so many events and organisations rooting for women empowerment and development. 
No one cares about teaching the men?

If you own a poultry and you one day find out there’s a snake in your farm that has eaten two of your birds. Do you just keep the fowls in the cage and let the snake roam free? 
No, you kill the snake if you can. You do everything to get rid of it.

We can not have a society free of rape and prostitution if the men are not dealt with and helped out.

I learned about some places where prostitutes get arrested. Ok good, what about the men going to pick them up?

A rape victim will press charges and often times, she gets stigmatised. Ridiculous accusing fingers are pointed at her while the rapist walks free. Some months back, I read about an Indian lady who was gang raped TWICE by the same men. The second time was for not accepting an out-of-court settlement for the first one. It is extremely sad, read it here

Here are four ways to deal with this sociological imbalance.

1. Justice: The two incidences mentioned in this article have something in common. Weak judicial actions. If transgressors of rape are brought to appropriate justice and so quickly, we won’t have rapists walk the streets thereby encouraging more.
2. Platforms and organisations: More platforms and organisations need to be established by members of the society to make aware, teach and empower men about these pressing issues. For some unexplained reasons men are overlooked in such gender peculiar initiatives but it has to change. It needs to become a movement.
3. Male influencers: Most male influencers across all spheres are usually only about their areas of expertise or general development. They are needed to touch on these delicate and specific issues. Influencers or ‘Celebrities’ in areas like music, movies, sports and business are thought leaders and their followers will benefit a great deal if they encourage nobility and responsibility among men. The musicians need to stop promoting the objectification of women in their lyrics and videos, this goes a very long way.
4. Family: The lessons and ideologies a young man grows up with from birth through adolescence form his perceptions and hence his lifestyle. Parents should take it upon themselves to teach their sons to be responsible and not neglect chivalry to treat women without respect. This is crucial.

Well, talk is cheap as they say. If we keep talking and writing wherever we can without taking action, nothing will be done and the situation will probably get worse. I personally have chosen to actively contribute to a reform of the masculine gender, I hope you help the next man to you. let’s #SaveOurMen. It’s in our hands.