Bitter-Sweet

This is work of Fiction

Let me tell you what it’s like, living in Lagos as a growing woman:

Let me tell you of the panic when it’s just me and three XY’s in the danfo,

Or of being called an Ashawo because I told a stranger not to touch me,

Let me tell you of the headache (read as life long ache) caused by traffic,

That you should expect double wahala, if you don’t live in an estate.

In this city IJGBs will be regular to you but noise control will be foreign,

Your government will declare a no-horn day and everybody will fail,

You will fail, I will fail, the said government will fail,

Ahh, Lagos- a very accommodating place, (for your own sanity read as very loose place and please believe it).

Now, let me warn you about the heat and flash floods,

The ‘decoration of a drainage system’ that only accommodates plastic,

Get ready for the economical extremes, a difficult-to-define middle class,

Elites and beggars on its streets: fruits of an uneven mix from Lagos’ policies, politics and politricks,

Ahh, Eko Wenjele!

The hustle aura of this city will have me speak of the opportunities though:

the grass being green (sometimes),

the demand driven economy with its façade capacity for innovation,

the markets that allow trade — affording families a chance to fight poverty’s cage,

the ideas, businesses, array of products and services,

the jobs that allowed people earn a salary (or only exposure, if you are unfortunate)

Last but definitely not the least, the Chop-Life aura of this city will have me tell you of the memories:

The people and events (be careful not to catch STDs),

The blend of culture in the never-sleeping city,

A chance to faith,

A chance to fame,

Let me tell you, what it is like living in Lagos as a growing woman

Let me tell you what it is like to experience life : bitter-sweet.

Glossary

Danfo — yellow buses in Lagos used for public transportation.

Ashawo — A sex worker / an intended insult to a nigerian woman for doing anything /nothing at all.

XY — sex chromosome for the cis-male.

Double Wahala — Problems, plenty problems.

IJGB — I Just Got Back, Nigerians in

diaspora (or even Mauritius, as long as

they have dollars) who have just returned.

No-horn Day — A day set aside by the Lagos state government to curb noise pollution. Supposedly Oct 15th. Laughs in peem-peem.

Exposure — something you can not use to pay your bills, especially rent, which is ridiculously high in Lagos.

Eko Wenjele- A hailing for Lagos, for more information ask Sanwo-Olu.

STD — Sexually transmitted Diseases.

Chop-Life — Enjoyment.

Storyteller & Laugherholic