A peek into my nonsensical brain

“I have to get into this MBA college, I have to get a good score”, I keep repeating this to myself over and over again. I sit on the table and as I am about to attempt the first question, my mind wanders to my bed. Why have I left my clothes on the bed, I wonder. I remind myself that those have been there for about a week and I haven’t bothered so why bother now? Just solve the bloody question.

Okay so , Amy has to visit towns B and C in any order. The roads connecting these towns with her home are shown in the …… Wouldn’t it be amazing if I get into HEC Paris,every morning I shall get up, walk on the Paris streets get my coffee.. see the shimmering Eiffel Tower…Sip my coffee as I revise my notes… Reach my college, I wonder how Paris roads would be… as beautiful as I see in the pictures- boulevard along with benches on the sides where couples in love are sitting and reading a book maybe, in silence, not saying much but absorbing a lot more and understanding even more.. Will I ever get to share this with someone? ….

Oh God Ayushi, its been half an hour already! I scold myself, “come back to the question, come back…solve it so that there might be a chance that you live the dream you just saw”. Okay so what was Amy doing, yea so..Amy has to visit towns B and C in any order. The roads connecting these towns with her home are shown on the diagram. How many different routes can she take starting from A and returning to A… Would I ever think of returning back to India once I go out of here. I mean I love this country I really do, but I have lived here for 24 years now. I want to explore, I just have one life here and I want to see everything , I mean of course I will be reborn again after I die, but I wont remember any of it! I want to see all till the time I remember stuff. Am I talking crazy? I feel like I am talking crazy.. Wasn’t I supposed to be doing this question! Oh fish! its been 45 minutes and I am still on this stupid question !! I hate myself.. Now brain, would you mind concentrating on this shit and heart, do you mind for once, just for once, being in sync with brain.. Please I need collaboration here to focus! God you guys !!

So once again back to Amy, Amy has to visit towns B and C in any order. The roads connecting these towns with her home are shown ….I wish I could…No STOP IT RIGHT THERE, COME BACK…on the diagram. How many different routes can she take starting from A and returning to A, going through both B and C (but not more than once through each) and not travelling any road twice on the same trip? — There at least I finished the question! Phew! Why do I feel so exhausted and why are there clothes on my bed? Ahh! I don’t think I will be able to solve this till I keep those clothes back into the wardrobe. I open my wardrobe and I wonder when was the last time I cleaned it, I have to arrange this right now and then I shall peacefully solve my questions. Oh look what I found, Farrero Rochers, I wonder if its expired.. No I think I read somewhere chocolates don’t expire or was it about dry fruits? Whatever, this chocolate looks fine to me I shall have it anyway. Oh no wait, you are trying to loose weight Ayushi, throw it away!! Right now… I don’t think I have the heart to throw it away, probably that’s why I hid it in first place, because I couldn’t throw it away! Huh! now I remember, I might as well put it back and forget about it.

I think I should watch the new workout video my sister was talking about, she said it will help me reduce in a month. How nice it would be, I could wear anything and look nice in it, I wont have to suck my stomach in every time the wind blows against me and my shirt sticks to my stomach and how nice it would be to for once wear my jeans without hopping around the entire room and even falling sometimes just to get it up my hips.. Life would be beautiful, and then when I go to HEC Paris I can roam around the Paris streets in beautiful dresses. The thought only is such a happy thought……

I lie on my bed dreaming, slim me roaming around the world in beautiful dresses while studying for my masters… Suddenly I feel the smile disappearing, Oh god! Amy, I had to figure out that route for Amy! I hate Amy, why cant she find her own bloody route, doesn’t she have Gmaps on her phone?? I hate such dependent people who need other people to find their path for them. Such girls I tell you, so dumb, and dare you say anything to them- they will shield themselves with all these theories about Feminism and Equality and what not without even knowing the true meaning of these terms.

I am angry and I can feel my eyes getting heavy. I think I will sleep now and maybe help Amy tomorrow. What kind of a name is it anyway !!

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