Day one: 27 is the new 37
As I stood enjoying the rain, I realized how blessed I am. I can reach back and recall so many people whose paths I have crossed, who have taken their own lives because they were misunderstood. Wonderful men and women who were forced in a shell where they were ravaged by the loneliness and trauma. And In time, they gave up.
I simply feel blessed because there has never been an instance where I felt that forcing yourself to transition from this life was a good way to depart. Okay, that last part may not be true, but I have always felt it would be disingenuous.
I have always felt, to cut this life short would be an affront to the deity that decided I could do better as a man, than as moss growing on a rock. Not that moss is not serving a purpose.
And as that thought crossed my mind, I knew. Somebody up there clearly likes me.
As human beings, we all have failures and successes in our lives. Some of these failures haunt us every morning, or whenever we are trying to make sense of our lives. Sometimes there is good coming out, and these failures get buried under the potential of what might be in stock. Other times we are not so lucky.
And those moments compel me to write this today.
I come from a lifetime of trying to ‘be there’ for people around me- family, friends, acquaintances. It has not always been a smooth ride. I found out last week, that no matter what I do — for many, it will never be enough. Maybe I knew this all along, but I had clung to this hope that people will come around. And perhaps they do. But how long can we wait?
I repeated this to myself. How long can we wait? How long can I wait until I am accepted?
And in that thought lay my salvation.
Acceptance by anyone but yourself is a figure of your imagination. Value your relationships, hold them close, and keep forging ahead.
If I were to believe the ridiculous standards of expectations and thus started counting my failures, I would be long gone. But it would be unfair to only count my failures because I have so far lived a very fulfilling life. I am blessed to have been loved my many, and I continue to be there for people. The trick is to balance it so I am able to navigate back to the shore.
So here is what I will try to do over the next one year.
Since I just turned 37, I will try to sort things out for the next one year. It is never too late to drop the baggage you carry. As they say, 37 is the new 27.