On JD’s (酒店) and culture

“As soon as the sun comes up, I cut em all loose and works my excuse but the truth is I can’t open up” — Mike Posner

In Mandarin 酒店 (Jiu Dian) means hotel, in Taiwan it has another meaning. Taiwan is famous for it’s 酒店 (Jiu Dian), and when I say famous, I mean famous. It’s known all over Asia, there’s nothing like it in the west. The most apt comparison would be a hostess bar or a strip club. I believe every culture has their own version of JD’s. There are all different kinds of 酒店 but they’re all pretty much the same. There is liquor, karaoke, and of course, women. Clients buy the room, liquor by the bottle and women to sit next to them and entertain them. The mama-san or madam can pick the girl for you or you can pick the girl yourself. The girls can come in 1 by 1 or it can be a big group of them and you pick à la the movie Rush Hour.

There are levels to this shit, the more expensive the 酒店, the prettier/hotter the girls and the less they do. There are different kinds of 酒店 … some are straight up hostess bars, where the girls just sit next to you, chat and are basically like a glorified butler. They dance for you but they keep their clothes on. Others are like strip clubs, the girls will sit, chat, and dance, but they’ll turn off the lights and they’ll strip for you too. Some 酒店 are just high end whorehouses. After you’ve sang and drank til your hearts content, the women take you to a private room in the back to get your dick sucked or fuck. It’s up to you, but you’ve got to pay to play, everything costs money. 酒店 are not cheap either. It’ll run you at least 15,000 NTD ($500 USD) and they go up from there. Every extra service costs money, it’s 3–4–5–6 times the price of a bar/pub.

Asian men, especially the Taiwanese, and especially Taiwanese men like going to 酒店. Wives and girlfriends are OK with it, it’s part of the culture. The men go for a few reasons 1) to do business (the most commonly used one) 2) To check it out, all the guys go. 3) To feel like a prince or a king. They are the boss there, they may not be at work or at home. To be completely honest, a lot of business does get done at a 酒店, not unlike how guys will discuss and close deals at a strip club in the States. Nowadays it’s normal for women to go to the 酒店 for business too and it’s normal for guys to bring their girlfriends or their wives, but it still feels like a boys club. In Asia, drinking, smoking and business go hand-in-hand. First you drink, then you talk business. They (prospective clients or business partners) want to see how one acts when one gets drunk. Are they the same person? Do they become violent? Are they an emotional drunk? Are they going to act like a fool and make them look bad? Do their lips get looser when they get drunk and say something they aren’t suppose to say? Can you hold your liquor? Simply put, are they down? A 酒店 is a lot less formal than a pub or a bar, it’s more casual, more relaxed, guys find that they can be themselves.

In America, the people you grew up with are your boys. You know, the ones you went to elementary school, junior high, and high school with. You know all about them, their strengths, their weaknesses, who they are and what they are about. It’s the same in Taiwan, but the Taiwanese would also probably include the guys the served in the army with. In the army, you and your boys are sharing a shower, you’re bound to become close. Think of 酒店 as male bonding. It’s an occasion. When friends are about to get drafted and go off to the military, let’s go to a 酒店. When it’s a good friend’s birthday, let’s go to a 酒店. After closing a big deal, let’s go to a 酒店. When visitors or friends come in from out of the country or out of town, let’s go to a 酒店. When people come from out of the country, they usually want to go to the 酒店, it’s somewhat of a tourist attraction.

I have a friend I went to school with, Max, he moved to Taiwan about a year and half after I did. His dad’s business partners took him to a 酒店 basically just to show him what’s up, to see if he was ‘down.’ He grew up sheltered. He was shocked at the behavior that goes on in the 酒店 and what he saw. Honestly, I was a little surprised he was shocked, but then again, I wasn’t. He works for his dad, his dad’s friends brought him out, they wanted to show him a good time and more importantly, see if he’s like his father or not. See if he’s really his father’s son. He said it was a little awkward and he hesitated, so he didn’t partake in the festivities. Max didn’t think that it mattered, it does, a lot. In business, a lot of times it isn’t about the money, shit, it’s rarely about the money. It’s who you choose to do business with, the company that you keep. Do I want to associate myself with this kind of person? Do I want to be seen with this type of person? Are they going to make me look bad? It’s all about relationships in Asia and Taiwan is no different. 關係 (Guan Xi) is what it is known as and while that means relationships, it goes deeper than that, it means that you can call on them for favors and vice versa. I have another friend, he’s Cantonese, his father makes batteries, his dad doesn’t even drink, yet he still goes. It’s the thing to do, it’s how deals get done and it’s where deals get done.

Nowadays JD aren’t only open at night time, some open at 5pm and are available for dinner, some have open spaces used for ballroom dancing. A lot of people go fro the karaoke machines, their karaoke machines are more modern and have more English songs than those found at regular KTVs (Karaoke TV). Depending on the JD, you can even bring your own liquor. Some JD’s even have all you can drink beer or hard alcohol. Almost all of them are gangster owned. When you walk in the security guards are thuggish looking asians in suits. There are multiple levels of security as well as security doing patrols in the JD.

Asians like having a lot of friends, whether those are real friends or not is up for debate, when one goes to the JD often it’s easy to make a lot of friends. JD are a lot of fun, guys go to unwind, to let off some steam after work. They go play, that’s what they’re paying all that money for, to sit next to a pretty, friendly girl. You get to touch, feel and grope them. If you have enough game you can take them home, free of charge, or make a new friend to take them out after they’re off work and whenever they’re not working. Married ballers go to JD’s to meet girlfriends or mistresses. I know some dudes with a wife and 2 or 3 girlfriends. It’s normal here. In Asia, it’s normal for a person to have multiple girls, as long as they can afford them. With all the extramarital affairs going on, divorce looms on the horizon. Or maybe, the men are just tired of their life and are having a midlife crisis, they’re unhappy and want a change.

Going to a JD isn’t all fun and games though, it can lead to some trouble, like any vice it can lead to addiction. Drugs and alcohol are never in short supply at a JD. The cost of regularly going to a JD can add up quick. Let’s say it costs at least 15,000 TWD ($500 USD) and that’s on the cheaper end of the spectrum, that’s 60K TWD (2K USD) a month if you go once a week, that’s 24K USD a year. If you go twice a week that’s 30K TWD (1K USD), 120K (4K USD) a month, 48K USD a year. Even if you go once a month, it’s still 15K TWD ($500 USD) a month, 180K TWD (6K USD) a year, it’s not cheap.

The girls at a JD are first come, first serve. The earlier you go the more girls you have to choose from. People go early to get first choice of girls. It is awkward at first, but the liquor loosens people up. After getting drunk, the girl looks like what you want her to look like. They never look the same the next day though. Their ‘face’ would be all over the pillow and you wake up to somebody completely different than who you went to sleep with. You can’t really expect to find good girls at these types of places, you find what you expect to find there whores, tramps, addicts and gold diggers. It is what it is. And all these friends you think you have? They’re only good times friends, always there when the bottle is popping, never there when it counts. What’s the point of having all these friends anyways? Friends cost money.

Often businessmen will try to charge JDs to their company card and write it off as a business expense. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. It depends on the company and how frequently they go. Businessmen often have to go even when they don’t want to, otherwise they’ll look like a bitch in front of their coworkers or clients. Going to a JD is just a benefit or drawback, depending on how you see it, of doing business in Asia. (I know, must be rough)

If you’re female and you don’t like your boyfriend or husband going to a JD, I got some tips for you. 1) Dress up more, take the time to make yourself look presentable. Don’t look so homely all the time. 2) 溫柔 (wen ruo) means welcoming or friendly. Be more welcome or open at home. 3) Don’t nag so much, sometimes just listen to him vent. 4) Suck his dick more than once a month.

Have I been to a JD? Of course I have, I’ve been to JDs all over Taiwan and Asia. What’s my honest opinion of them? I think they’re cool. I don’t think they’re that much fun, but pretty fun though. My favorite place like that isn’t even a JD, in Kaohsiung there’s a burlesque show that I like. The girls keep their clothes on, but they do lap dances and they preform stage acts. I took my boy there when he was visiting from 626 (L.A.) and he said, “You like this because this feels like 1920's Boardwalk Empire, but Azn huh?” “That’s exactly why I like it, I’m the Azn Nucky Thompson.”

I usually go to JDs when I have homies visiting from out of the country, they hear about Taiwan JDs and are curious. They want to check it out for themselves and see what the hype is about. “It’s what Taiwan is known for” they’ll say. I also take my clients there, I go there to get to know a new client, to discuss business or to close deals. I’m not a fan of the glorified whorehouses, or the ones where the girls strip. I think the girls are busted and look like cracked out meth or heroin addicts or they are just plain old. I prefer the JDs where the girls just sit next to me and talk, light my cigarette, pour my drink and serve me food. The women are usually prettier. Matter of fact, there’s a female manager of a JD who likes me and thinks I’m cute, so she let’s me go free of charge. She’ll invite me whenever one of her friends has a big party there or if I go with my friends she comps me and just charges my buddies. I’ll go to meet people, network, or just have a good time. If I’m in Taiwan, I’ll go about once a month.