I am confused.
I am angry.
How do they dare to ask; to share my intimacy, to share my thoughts, to share my fears?
How do they dare to ask; while holding up a shield I cannot pierce? While building a wall I cannot climb? While digging a trench I cannot jump?
I have grown mute and cold.
!Hybris! !Selfishness! !Arrogance!
I call it
Yes, i doubt myself, every day, every hour, every minute. 13,100,521 doubts to be exact.
It is comical, that I fled 6,000 miles across an ocean to hide from my person, who loved, trusted, and healed me.
A Lover, Yes!
A Muse, YEs!
A Woman, YES!
But no life partner; just another soul swimming in the sea of doubt; just another soul rotting faster than the days can pass.
The doubt, the anger, the distance they seem so simple to squash; Speak up! Say what you think!
I break a soul. I watch the blood spill. The warm feeling makes me sleepy. The faint smile makes me happy. The unrest continues.