Advice to Black Men Entering College from an Ivy League Graduate

B. Rapp
B. Rapp
Sep 3, 2018 · 4 min read
Freshman Year at Yale University, 2008

10 years ago, I stepped onto a plane in New Orleans en route to Yale University (my alma mater). Beyond deep familial values instilled in me, I was on my own — I knew no one in the Northeast nor had I come from much privilege.

Today, I am in my second year at Harvard Business School (HBS).

I write to young black men entering college with lessons and soft-skills learned since the first time I stepped foot onto a college campus — these learnings condensed into five soundbites:

1. Breathe for mental health sake

Breathe young man and protect your mental health. You will have moments of incredible joy and accomplishment. You will get overwhelmed sometimes and feel ostracized at other times. But you must know that both moments are important to your discovery. You will fail time and time again. I fail often. Do not be consumed by failure. Your job is to learn the lesson in your failure so as to not repeat it. The world has a way of giving you the same lessons, until you have learned them completely. Learn to pause, to breathe, to adapt, and to redirect.

2. Know that you are worthy of All

There is a “you” that exist beyond the representation of black men that is portrayed. Be above the representations. Build your own story. At your core, when all the stereotypes and self-doubt are peeled away: you are good enough, better than, and smart enough. Your body, mind, and soul matter. When your judgement is questioned, or your opinion minimized, when your voice is shut out or shut down… your job is to get closer to the core of who you are (the light that guides you) and to know that your voice, your most human self is worthy of it All: of success, of love, and of life. At the core of you, you are royal — be humble in knowing your worth.

3. Hustle continuously toward a dream or goal

“Life is not fair.” I wish this was told to me at a younger age. Growing up as a black man in America is not fair. Last year, as a HBS student, I thought that I was at a place in my life where I was on equal footing with everyone else. I wanted to believe that I did not have to work twice as hard to be seen equitably and equally. This is just not fact nor my truth. Your work ethic, focus, and discipline will define how far you will go. Accomplishing the dream and the goal requires a dogged commitment to the truth that it will not come easy…well until you become so good that it actually does. Also, hustle beyond the bounds of and for reasons above social media. Pay attention to what consumes your energy.

4. Show Up and Be Present

You are required to show up and be present, in class, at work, on-and-off the field. Showing up and being present are not always simple. It requires a level of maturity and awareness. It requires growth and empathy. When you open the door to any new or familiar place, remind yourself (as Maya Angelou says) that you show up as many: your family, friends, teachers, loved ones and ancestors who dreamt of your liberation. Seize this opportunity, show up confidently, and be your whole self in that. Before walking in a room, I remind myself that I have power, confidence, and influence. Be prepared (and try your best to be on time!). People’s time and your time are valuable.

5. Be resourceful

What is required of you to reach a new place is and will be much more and different from what was required to get you to where you are now. Develop supporters. Learn to lean on those around you who have your back and who reach out a hand to lift you up. Up your team! Your goal in your self-discovery is to learn more quickly what resources and people are relevant to your growth and which and who are not.

HBS FGI final project presentation in Shanghai, China, 2018

Breathe young man, drive at your passion and purpose, discover what makes you come alive, show up and show out, and find those who push you forward, who make you laugh and love. Exist above and beyond the self-doubt, and racism, and misperceptions. Fold into who you truly are and know that you are not alone..

… and have fun!

#TheCourageToBe

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