Why I’m Far from popular

I’ve had an overwhelming realization of why my recent years have been utterly dull and boring. To give some type of background. In my previous life at my old school I had lots of friends. I wasn’t by any means popular, but I was well liked to some extent. I’ve now started to wonder what happened. Here at trailer park high I don’t have many friends at all. I feel very unwanted. I feel as if any day my friends will walk out and leave. Maybe it’s my abandonment issues of my frequent neglect as a child. Or maybe it’s that I’ve come to terms with reality and the fact that not everyone likes me. This however makes me think that absolutely no one likes me.

I often think of reasons why I don’t have an abundance of friends. Maybe I’m just annoying. Or maybe not pretty enough. Whatever the reason may be I’m obviously not wanted. I’m not much of anything to anyone. Not many people care, I don’t want them to anyways. It’s best that they don’t. I’ve realized that in the recent years. It’s easier to say goodbye when neither party cares. Or if both parties pretend as if they don’t care.

It’s very hard for me to accept that not everyone will like me. Ever since I was a kid I always wanted everyone to like me. Which is a very unrealistic goal. It’s unfortunate but true that not everyone is going to want to be your friend. But I oddly enough want to be everyone’s friend. Which might sound very bizarre. I just want to give so much but I have no one to give to. It’s hard for me to understand why someone wouldn’t want to be my friend.