The Genesis of Bad Bunnies

A Bad Bunnies Gang Lore Story

By PATRICK MCCRANN

It’s good to be a bunny. But it hasn’t always been good to be a rabbit.

The year was 1830, and it was a bad year to be a rabbit. Gang warfare in the infamous Five Points area of Lower Manhattan took a turn for the worse when a dead rabbit was thrown into the center of large gang meeting.

The omen split the group, leading one faction to take the name Dead Rabbits. For about twenty odd years, their battle symbol was a dead rabbit on a pike.

The gang eventually faded away, but there’s another story about what happened to the Dead Rabbits gang out there in the Five Points.

See, the gang’s collective obsession with rabbits and evildoing meant they needed a lot of rabbits (and pikes) to spread fear. Raising rabbits became an important role within the gang. But this was no nursery mind you; the rabbits were poorly fed and badly neglected.

The minders were often in and out of jail at “The Tombs,” the rabbits were left to fend for themselves. Generations of rabbits were forced to forage in trash and drinking the water from contaminated Collect Pond [wikipedia].

The combination of ruthless gang culture and highly toxic chemicals cause the rabbits to evolve. No one noticed at first. The bunnies seemed organized for sure; they were visibly upset when one of their own was taken and used as an example to spread fear.

On the morning of the now infamous fourth Saturday in September [aka International Rabbits Day] the rabbits rose up. When one of their leaders was picked to be the next example, the bunnies were ready. They quickly overwhelmed their captors in a terrible show of force and coordination.

But they weren’t done.

These weren’t ordinary rabbits see, they were Bad Bunnies. They left the bodies in the open and waited for the rest of the gang to come that night. The Dead Rabbits rallied quickly when they heard there had been an attack, and began plotting revenge right…right in the midst of the killer horde.

One battle cry was all it took. The Bad Bunnies sprung free from their cages, hideouts, and holes in the ground. Within minutes, the Dead Rabbits had all lived up to their name.

Bloodied and exhausted, the Bad Bunnies were now in charge. There was sorting to do, and they couldn’t agree on next steps.

One group wanted to bury everyone, and erase all traces of the original gang. They were called the Diggers, and they liked to make problems disappear.

Another group wanted to keep the momentum going, to find other gangs and keep fighting until they ruled the entire Five Points. The self-proclaimed Brawlers needed to fight to feel alive.

The third group didn’t care about the bodies or ruling ambitions, they just wanted the swag. The shiny stuff. The Choppers were in it for the show, but they were always ready to throw down if needed.

Things were getting pretty hot when a council of three rabbits — one from each group — declared a temporary truce. Each group stepped back, and the three groups quickly divided and recruited members from the larger group. Lines were drawn and burrows were dug, and a lineage was born.

Life in the Five Points changed, and for the better. There seemed to be an invisible force that kept the two-legged bad guys from ever taking hold again.

Every now and again the body of some no-good scum was found. Sometimes he was missing his jewelry and keys. Sometimes he was beaten to a pulp. And sometimes, well, sometimes he was never seen again.

Ever since the Dead Rabbits were killed, it’s been okay be a human in Five Points.

And it’s been great to be a Bad Bunny.

FIN

Find out more about the Bad Bunnies at https://badbunnies.xyz/