Hey Trump supporters, can we talk?

Hi guys. Hope you’re having a great day. If you have a couple minutes, I thought we might have a little chat.

Throughout this election, you’ve made it very clear that you want to “Make America Great Again.” I think I understand what you mean by this now from listening to your words. But, I need you to understand… To really understand a few things. You may know some of these already, but after the contentious election we all went through, they bear repeating. Let’s carefully consider the following 14 quick facts, and really let these points sink in. Please.

  1. DIVERSITY — America is becoming more brown and black. By the year 2045, whites will be the minority. http://america.aljazeera.com/articles/2015/6/25/whites-on-target-to-become-a-us-minority.html and https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/national/how-diverse-is-america/?tid=sm_fb
  2. LANGUAGE — With this sea change, there will inevitably be a correlating rise in the number of people speaking other languages. Your grandchildren will likely be fluent in Spanish. Many of them will choose to study Mandarin or Arabic in high school.
  3. GOD — America is losing Christians and has been for a long time. This trend will continue. There are going to be more Muslims and Hindus, and other religions. And, there will be more atheists. Today, 56 million Americans do not observe any religion, and that number continues to grow. http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-32710444
  4. GAYS — There will always be LGBTQ’s, and they’re going to get married and raise children. In all likelihood, one of your grandkids may turn out to be gay. Society will continue to move in the direction of acceptance.
  5. GUNS — Guns and gun culture will increasingly be frowned upon by society. No one is coming for your guns, but like smoking cigarettes in California, we’re going to slap massive taxes on guns and ammunition, and use that money for anti-gun education and aggressive buy-back programs. It’ll get to the point where you’ll be embarrassed to admit to owning a gun. Flaunt your love for guns, and you’ll be like one of those assholes who smokes cigars in crowded places. Most of your grandchildren or great-grandchildren will have no interest in owning guns.
  6. WOMEN — Women are going to be in charge. Today, 72% of female students graduate from high school, compared to 65% for males. In 1940, Men accounted for 70% of college students. Today, women make up the majority at 55%. This trend shows no signs of slowing down and will continue into the foreseeable future. Women are 21% more likely to graduate from college, and 48% more likely to complete graduate school. So, yeah. Odds are the future bosses of the world will be women. http://www.usnews.com/news/blogs/data-mine/2014/10/31/women-more-likely-to-graduate-college-but-still-earn-less-than-men
  7. EDUCATION — You can’t repeal Common Core standards at the federal level. States adopted them on their own. Most states that are using them will probably stick with them because it’s a huge, expensive pain in the ass to replace standards and states just went through that pain… They’re not going to want to go through it again. You can take away federal incentives, and maybe your state will repeal them, but then you’ll have to replace them with something else and odds are they will look a lot like Common Core. http://hechingerreport.org/texas-new-math-standards-look-whole-lot-like-common-core/ and http://blogs.edweek.org/edweek/curriculum/2016/06/louisianas_common-core_replacement.html
  8. JOBS — Manufacturing. Jobs. Are. Never. Coming. Back. Ever. Same thing goes for coal mining (link, link, link, link, link). You’re going to have to go back to school or make up your own new job. I recommend learning how to code. https://www.codecademy.com/
  9. UBI — Universal Basic Income is coming. As automation continues to become more prevalent, and our population continues to grow, there simply won’t be enough work. (Kind of like how things are today.)
  10. HEALTHCARE — A national health program is coming. Yes, you’re going to repeal Obamacare, but you’re going to have a hard time figuring out how to replace it while ensuring that people with pre-existing conditions can get insurance, and keeping rates realistic for people with low incomes. Good luck with this, really.
  11. ENERGY — You can “drill baby drill” all you want to, but it’s not going to change a thing. Market forces will continue to grow the electric car, solar and wind industries. Case in point — Tesla made more money last quarter than the entire US oil industry made last year. Fossil fuel energy will eventually become irrelevant. http://www.autoblog.com/2016/06/22/annual-us-fuel-demand-ev-sales-surge/ and http://www.msn.com/en-us/money/markets/white-gasoline-soars-as-demand-for-electric-vehicles-surges/ar-BBttrCf and http://www.campaignlive.com/article/surge-electric-car-sales-leads-nissan-predict-tipping-point-consumer-demand/1404442 and http://www.cbc.ca/news/technology/electric-car-charging-station-congestion-1.3518353
  12. CRIME — You can’t put everyone in jail. You can’t afford it, especially while slashing taxes. Also, it’s not reasonable or realistic to ask our police officers to constantly haul people in for petty offenses. They’ve got enough work to do. Eventually, we’re going to have to ratchet back our “tough-on-crime” policies and double down on education and rehabilitation. The truth is, America is safer today than it’s ever been. Your fears are unfounded. http://archive.vera.org/sites/default/files/resources/downloads/price-of-prisons-updated-version-021914.pdf and http://www.cheatsheet.com/personal-finance/what-are-americas-prisons-costing-you.html/?a=viewall and http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2015/03/be-not-afraid/384965/
  13. FOREIGN POLICY — It may not seem like it right at the moment, but today is a more peaceful time to be a human than any moment in history. We’re talking more, and fighting less. So for the love of sweet black baby Jesus, fucking cut it out with the saber-rattling and help us figure out how we can support refugees. http://www.pri.org/stories/2014-09-29/world-actually-becoming-more-peaceful-believe-it-or-not and http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/foreigners/2014/12/the_world_is_not_falling_apart_the_trend_lines_reveal_an_increasingly_peaceful.html
  14. ENVIRONMENT — Yes, you can gut the EPA and kill regulations. But you’re going to end up poisoning more people and ruining landscapes. This may come back to bite you in the ass politically, but in the end it doesn’t really matter. Global warming is here no matter how much you try to convince yourself it isn’t. It’s here, and it’s too late to do anything about it.
  15. CULTURE — Finally, You need to remember that most of what you watch, read and listen to originates from our three coasts. (Pacific, Atlantic, and Lake Michigan) You’re having a little moment here and that’s great. Good for you. But even though you hold political power for the time being, you don’t hold the influence, and you never will. As long as you continue your stand against open-minded intellectualism, diversity, immigration and the Liberal Arts, you’re going to depend on us to keep you entertained. Your children will continue to seek us out and expand their horizons as they learn and grow in multicultural directions. They’re going to LOVE that new Rage Against the Machine album. So, get used to seeing more like Beyonce during Super Bowl halftime shows.

So, imagine if you will, the future…

It’s January, 2037. A black atheist, transgender woman was just inaugurated as POTUS. Her wife (also transgender, but Muslim) immigrated from Saudi Arabia. As first lady, she will be spearheading the National S.N.T.G. (Say No To Guns) campaign. She’ll be the Nancy Reagan of her time! Labor jobs will be rare as machines automate our work, and a universal basic income will allow people to focus on intellectual enlightenment and the arts. NASCAR will still be a thing, but with electric cars and their amazing weight-to-power ratio that would leave today’s internal combustion-type cars in the dust. Everyone will enjoy government healthcare and it will still be the best in the world because of massive investment from the government on medical research (with stem cells and everything!). We’ll get all that money from the savings we gain from slashing military spending, not starting wars, or building ridiculous stealth bombers. (You guys spent $2 TRILLION in Iraq. Look what it got us.)

In conclusion, unless you get rid of your TV and DVD player, disconnect your Internet, turn off your car radio, stop going to movies, replace your smartphone with a dumb phone, move your kids deep into the back-country and never let them go to college, then we will continue to move the country in a more progressive direction. Demographics aren’t on your side. A very large percentage of your base is over 65. As we make this inevitable shift, you will begin to see that America isn’t a melting pot… America is a multicultural tapestry.

So enjoy this moment… This may be the last time the pendulum swings so far in your direction. Between now and the inevitable demise of your white nationalism, we invite you to join us! We’re having a hell of a party over here and we’d love to have you. We’ve got ice cold Coke and Lemonade, and free hugs for everyone. ❄️ ❤️️ 😘