Anthony Jauregui
Mar 21, 2017 · 1 min read

Why they’re bullshit and the perfect alibi

Today I told my spouse I was going to a meeting, but instead I watched The Longest Yard alone in my car.

Today I told my boss I was going to a meeting, but instead I jacked off in the backseat of my coupe Camaro.

Today I told my dad I was going to a business meeting, but instead I fucked my girlfriend’s sister on some Hello Kitty bedsheets.

Today I told my mom I had a meeting, but instead I went to the neighbors house to have good home cooking.

Today I told the cops I was late for a meeting, but I was just speeding.

Earlier this evening my husband told me he was going to a meeting, but I really think he’s fucking his mom’s hair stylist.

Before lunchtime my subordinate claimed he had a business meeting with a client, but I really think it was an excuse to take a long lunch.

Mijo tuvio una junta para un nuevo trabajo hoy, creo que lo va conseguir.

My husband’s real son got a call for a job interview earlier, I hope he gets the fuck out of my new home.

The suspect was then released, he was on his way to work.

If you’re trying to get out of anything, or seem professional, tell ’em you’re late for a meeting.

Anthony Salvador Jauregui, 23


Half Bad Ass Half Phony

Anthony Jauregui

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