Things that satisfy me

In a world riddled with hard bagels, ketchup pre-come, and straws with that one small crack in them that prevent 100% suckage, here are the things that satisfy me, and should satisfy you. In no particular order.

1) Eating fries on the way home from the McDonald’s drive thru.

2) Having a boss ask if I’m busy and actually being busy.

3) When the total comes out to $9.96, and I pay with a ten, and the cashier gives me a nickelback. heh

4) Stopping the microwave at :01.

5) Eating a perfectly cooked Hot Pocket without scorching your tongue.

6) Using every page in a notebook.

7) Not playing Pokémon GO.

8) Making one trip from your car to your house with groceries.

9) Not hitting the snooze button on an alarm.

10) Eating a whole head of lettuce without letting any of it go to waste.

11) Removing a piece of corn or steak out of your teeth without using floss.

12) When a server writes “Thanks! Come back soon : ) xoxo” on your receipt.

13) Opening a YouTube video with a SkipAd option after 5 seconds.

14) When someone likes AND comments on a Facebook post of mine.

15) When I send a YouTube link to someone and they send back a comment talking about the ending of the video rather than the first 23 seconds.

16) Being wanted.

Anthony Jauregui, 22


Half Bad Ass Half Phony

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