Two Cigarettes: Not Talking About Cancer or Lung Disease

Anthony Jauregui
May 31, 2017 · 2 min read

Both at full capacity

C1: Literally only time I get smoked is when he’s drinking.

C2: Liquor drinking or coffee drinking?

C1: If I wanted to specify a type of drinking wouldn’t I have specified that in my first statement? You fucking idiot.


C2: It was just a simple question, don’t get mad.


C1: Now I know why she chain smokes you.

C2: At least she wants me. You get picked for a drag when he’s emotional and can’t get pussy.


C1: He loves me and if he wants to put his lips on my ass and suck when he feels like it then that’s okay with me.

C2: You need to love yourself you sound so pathetic.

C1: Self love is pathetic, but I mean, I do kinda like myself.

C2: If you loved yourself you wouldn’t be waiting for some asshole to suck your ass.

C1: But I love myself so much that I’m okay with waiting for some asshole to suck my ass and whenever he’s ready to settle down and chain smoke again, this ass will be ready for him.


C2: There’s the problem.

C1: What?

C2: You’re constantly waiting for someone when you could be getting smoked by someone who actually needs you in their life, not wants you in their life.

C1: I wanna be wanted, not needed.

C2: So you’re okay waiting around?

C1: Yup!


C2: I guess so… see ya.


C1: Now I can sit and wait in peace.

2 months later

C1,217: Man you look fucked up.


C1,217: You’re all cracked and shit. Tobacco is spilling out of your head.

C1: it’s ok…he opened the pack yesterday.

C1,217: And did what?

C1: he put me and some other broad on the bed and took a photo of us.

C1,217: That’s fuckin’ weird.

C1: he’ll be back soon, he’s starting to get depressed. he always smokes when he’s depressed.


Minutes later.

C1: will someone please suck my ass?

Anthony Jauregui, 23


Half Bad Ass Half Phony

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