I remember getting into my first non-brotherly fight in the seventh grade. The fight took place in the locker room right before gym class and I don’t remember being mad about anything with the guy I fought nor do I think if he was mad with me. I was a short, quiet kid that everybody got along with because I never said or done anything to anyone. But on this day, someone said I had to fight THIS guy and that guy had to fight ME. He wasn’t a big dude, in fact, we were around the same size with him being a little bit taller than me. Anyway, the fight started with the guy pushing me and with my ever so strong legs, thrusting dude against the lockers. All I remember is starting to punch dude in his body with not that much force but not to the head at all because, above all, I had no grudge against him (plus, I felt, it lessened the likelihood of me being punched in the face). All in all, I beat the brakes off of dude, we dapped each other up after, everyone cheered and we proceeded with 1 PM gym like nothing ever happened.
No one snitched on us for fighting, especially because it was a B- free-to-see fight. The unwritten “code of the streets” is to not snitch for any reason and just like “streets”, Baseball is filled with unwritten rules that sometimes gets people messed up. There’s a litany of unwritten rules but the one that sparked me writing this post is hitting batters when they either overly celebrate or “show up” a pitcher or when the team retaliates from the action. Among baseball fans, you’ll see a split between those who enjoy batters that flip bats, “pimp out” or stroll around the bases during HRs, etc. and those who don’t. Myself, I’m more on the side of flamboyance and fun. The game is better when people are having the most fun and not in their feelings about events that transpired contrary to their favor. Also, I feel that the fun police should not be allowed to use weapons to show their disgust. Getting hit by a baseball hurts no matter where it hits you. Accidents happen and players get hit by baseballs but it never should be a purposeful act.
I always say everything is until it isn’t. I say it but someone else already said it but whatever, I say it. One day, a pitcher is going to hit the wrong batter on the wrong day at the wrong time because that batter knocked the dinger of dingers, pimped that thang out magnificently and things won’t end well for anyone. Until that day, I may have a solution, sort of like my future baseball saving idea I came up with in the past, let baseball players fight. I know what you’re thinking, random person reading this. You think that I’m out of my mind saying that major league baseball players should fight to settle their differences. Well what I would counter with is… LOOK AT ALL OF THESE DOPE BASEBALL FIGHTS!
I mean, look at it this way, hockey has been known for years to be the fightingess sport in all of the sports. Often hockey players throw down their gloves, grab each other and spin around (like so) punching each other until it is broken up by the refs. Hockey fights are an accepted part of the game, culture and way of life. As a matter of fact, hockey regulates their fighting where referees are given considerable latitude as to judging the penalties for fighters and whether it was a fight at all. How ‘bout that? If guys who glide on swords are able to fight to handle their differences, why shouldn’t baseball players have that opportunity?
Now I know your exact thoughts, all of them, even the nasty ones. One of your specific thoughts as you’re reading this is, “alright, if baseball players are able to fight during the game, how would that go exactly?” Glad you asked. If an altercation were to take place, these guidelines should be followed:
- Both the players should meet face to face somewhere in the middle of the diamond (sucker punching is for suckers)
- Players could adopt the hockey style of fighting with the grabbing of the jerseys and punching, shuffling of the feet but not really swinging for real (or at least not connecting with any punches), etc.
- Benches only clear to either break up a fight that got out of hand or snap rhythmically in a circle a la West Side Story or whatever that play was with the greasers. You know the one I’m talking about
- I would suggest instituting a “not in the face” rule but I feel like that should be unwritten like the dumb rules that already govern this somewhat archaic sport
- No weapons allowed. Kicking is not allowed ONLY because of cleats but if both players decide to take of their cleats before the fight, kicking is allowed. The kicking with cleats ban applies unless you’re Chan Ho Park, which then you can do whatever you want, you badass you
- Only the ump can stop the fight but no one should hit the ump. Umps are good people or whatever. My dad used to umpire baseball games. Don’t hit my dad
- Players would not be ejected for fighting but would be assessed a 3 inning major, similar to hockey’s 5-minute major for fighting. Pitchers would be able to return to the game when eligible as well as hitters
I am not a genius but I do think this solution for baseball is. Like with my last post that might save baseball, all of these guidelines are negotiable. There needs to be some type of resolution for baseball players that have consternation towards each other. These are all grown man that have to play a way too long season and sometimes need to blow off steam through their knuckles. If you think what all I’ve said about having baseball players fighting to settle their differences is crazy, ask yourself, would it it be any crazier than a guy with a ball hitting another guy with a ball and the other guy not being able to retaliate?
