An Audience of None

My fellow absentees

I stand here alone today

Like a mirror in a vacuum

Picking up dog frequencies

Reading Leviticus for pleasure

Pretending I’m Moses up on Mount Sinai

Chilling with God

“Let me get a hit of that shit”

God beckons to me reaching for the joint

“There’s a reason they call you Lord Most High”

I joke and choke passing it his way

“Damn straight” God wheezes upon exhale

“The only burning bush I need’s

This shit we been smoking dude”

I proclaim to the cloudy expanse

“Word” God points at me tryna to be all old school

And then says “Keep on smokin that herb Moshe my man

And you won’t need no damn commandments anyways

Know I’m sane?

This manna is the fruit of my grace . . . partake”

Handing the joint back to me

I’m like whoa when God says that

And I have no comeback or anything

It’s too holy a moment

So I just take another hit

“But don’t forget Zipporah’s burning bush”

God admonishes like a pimp

“You need to etch some mitzvot

Into those tablets too yo”

God is straight up G dude

My fellow absentees

It is a pressure and a pilferage

To be here unbeknownst to everyone

In these last moments of consciousness

Following my brutal disembowelment

(Or should it be evisceration?)

Lying on a pile of my own insides

Which ache like a lasting passion

Spilled at the slash of a saber

Rain laundering my hair like Chinese braids of glass

I crimp and I crave

The real life progenitor of Elmer J. Fudd

God’s lowly man

“Shh, be vewy vewy quiet I’m hunting wabbits” is the only thing Elmer Fudd ever says in my fantasies of being him

There is no conversation to be had with Elmer Fudd

He’s the only one in on the joke

His reality consists only of himself and the wabbits he’s hunting

Everything else is pretend

Elmer Fudd has thought about fucking maybe once in his whole life and it made him uncomfortable to feel that way about his mother

So he retreats into his cabin and then weeps into the void like every artist does

My fellow absentees

Some advice left lying here

Behold this truth to be self-evident

You must forge on amid the thundering silence

The dumb indifference

The deaf heavens

Unavoidably empty

A gamut that spans from null to nil to naught

Keep doing it because it’s who you are regardless

Perseverance is your foremost virtue

Amid this audience of none

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