F**k you, I love me.

Dual Personality by Donna Lee Young courtesy of fineartamerica.com

There are mornings when we wake up and say “Fuck this I am going back to bed.” Then the 4th alarm we have set is ringing in our ears. The most annoying song we know at the loudest tolerable volume to get us out of bed because over the last few months or even years we got smart and said forget getting up early and setting my day

We prefer staying up to binge on the latest Netflix and then we just grab our shit and go. We curse ourselves because we don’t have time to have a good healthy breakfast or because we can’t find the stupid car keys. If only we didn’t have to go to work then we would have all the time to take better care of ourselves.

Why weren’t we born Assdashians and get paid to be a bums. Well we were not and life is just passing by every day we promise to do something to better ourselves but just didn’t do it.

Wait! “Who is we?” I know I am not alone you hate yourself as much as I do maybe even more. That constant wanting more out of life but never fulfilling it seems to be a constant battle. It’s why New Year’s resolution are so popular but never seemed to be reached 90% of the time.

We want to lose weight but instead spend the once a week trip to the gym walking around, we want more money but always buy $10 coffee on our way to a class we dropped out three times. We update our resume every few months after our boss forgets our name or the Christmas bonus shrunk another 20% from the previous year but when it’s time to really put in the effort to see results we lay off or just quit.

Yo-Yo Dieting courtesy of http://dietitianlavleen.com/

We are not lazy or stupid, we just hate ourselves from wanting what is best for us. Subconsciously we don’t believe in being in better shape, working at a better job, or living a better life. The splurging to forget the self-hatred and now the debt accumulates. The whole new wardrobe every two months not because of latest designs but truly because the yo-yo dieting and half-ass workouts seem to make the clothes not fit properly.

So we start going to the gym for a few months see some results and then we missed all the things we love. Fuck the gym I got to finish the last season of whatever it is, or its finals month of some crap sport everyone in the office is placing dollar bets on.

If giving a shit about nothing become so important how it is that loving ourselves isn’t. “Why do you keep saying we?” Because the truth is if you picked anything else you believed you loved the most in the world then you would most likely also say “I would do anything for that” and mean it emotionally to your core. But when it comes to ourselves we don’t have the same emotional recourse. Except when a jack ass like me calls you out on it and then it becomes personal. Well that is just self-defense to cover our-self hatred.

Hating oneself is what makes us human but to really live a full life it is about self-love. We can’t love others if we don’t love ourselves more it just becomes obsession. If you love stimulation more than ourselves it becomes addiction. We all know how it goes on and on. “Well if I love myself more than anything then it becomes narcissism!” No because they are the worst of the self-haters. If you are at that point in your life (narcissistic) then you probably already told me to go fuck myself and to that I say I love you.