Hey Tinder Date, The Answer To “Stop” Is Not “Why”
Shani Silver

First, may I say how very sad I am having read about your very unfortunate experience with your Tinder date was, because the man in question obviously made you feel threatened (which is understandable), and because you had to go to such carefully planned/strategized efforts to extricate yourself from his company, and any further interaction with him.

Dealing with an overt bully requires incredible effort to survive with your face intact, (and your body, when it comes to it) and leaves you emotionally drained. But it also leaves you feeling insecure, worried that he won’t take “no” for an answer, and that he may seek retribution (which could get very nasty indeed, depending on whether he’s a psychopath or not). We cannot know when we are encountering a psychopath until he/she demonstrates certain traits that don’t usually appear at first “hello”. (Look at what we got sitting in our nation’s Oval Office…and how very difficult he is making life for all his associates, and the nation, and our world!)

In any case, you need to recognize something here that may be escaping your attention (and you may resent having to even consider it). This man was doing what he does to everyone, especially women, he was bullying you, and he assumed that you liked it, because “what’s not to like”? When you obviously didn’t like his treatment of you, he pressed forward, because bullies don’t take no for an answer, AND they ENJOY making people suffer. Bullies torture small animals and insects…their pets, their younger sister or brother, their best friend… when they are kids. When they grow up, they do it to everyone, and they don’t even recognize that their behavior is reprehensible, possibly disgusting, and definitely threatening. That’s what is wrong with a psychopath…they are incapable of feeling empathy! They don’t even know what it is…and if they did, they still wouldn’t care.

You handled this encounter well…very well, because you understood (either consciously, or subconsciously) how serious the threat was to your well-being.

But in doing this, you injured this man … at the core of his narcissistic little black heart. If you don’t know what it means to wound a narcissist in his insufferable pride, take a look at our President. He is doing what maliglant narcissistic bullies do…he is striking out at his detractors…his “enemies” in every way that he can (without sacrificing his hold on the nation’s leadership). He is demeaning the men and women that he thinks offended him by destroying their reputation in whatever way that he can. He would execute them, if he got the authoritarian mandate he’s salivating for.

Your Tinder date demonstrated that when he laughed out loud and demeaned you by saying how “cute” you are. Women are NOT “cute”… only small dogs and children under the age of 3 are “cute”. But you are lucky he didn’t get up and knock you in the back of your head as you walked away. And it’s possible that the problem has not gone away, just because you walked away.

Be careful…very careful. You may well still be in danger from this man. And my prayer and best wishes go out to you in this difficult experience you are having.

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