Because you don’t understand

You dont understand.

You don’t understand what it’s like when you lie to me and my heart cracks beneath the strain.

You don’t understand how that hurts me, breaks me, changes me and changes things.

Changes everything, changes me and changes you…

The way I see you, hear you…

It brings tears to my eyes when you feel you need to hide from me by lying to me. You don’t have to hide from me — don’t you yet understand?

Don’t you understand there is no need to don the bravado for me — that it’s OK?That you’re OK?

Sigh.

You don’t understand what it’s like when you call me a liar.

When you throw my words back in my face and ask me to come up with more.

I don’t have any more.

All I have is me and when I am not enough I don’t know what do or say or be…

So I stay myself because being me is what I’m good at; it’s what I do best.

It hurts when you tell me my best is not enough and ask for still more but I forgive you

I don’t blame you

I don’t hold it against you.

How can I fault you for not appreciating the best when you’ve never before had the best to appreciate it?