On #boycottsex

Lysistrata. Chi-raq. This is not a new idea.
My response to a tag on an fb post asking why women aren’t boycotting sex.

First, the author of that post should be sharing their own relevant manifesto/m.o. Instead of asking what others are doing, tell us what you are doing. Be the change you want to see and all that. It’s called credibility.
Secondly, why are women assumed to be the saviours of the black race? Who made the appointment and who ratified it? What is being saved from whom, who is being saved from what, for whose benefit? And, what does it say about black men that the call is for black WOMEN (oft-referred to as the 'weaker' sex) to save the black community?

Thirdly, does this mean women are 'in charge' of men? Since men say #notallmen, how will withholding sex from these precious snowflakes change the behaviour of the ones who are #trash? No really, I want to know. It’s not like rapists and murderers wait for permission. 

Another question: what about black women who are aeons ahead of this idea and are already boycotting sex -they do exist, did you know? Or are we really saying that women who didn’t wait for a #movement to set new, higher, standards for intimacy have nothing to offer in the struggle for black empowerment?

Do we not see the danger of predicating women’s power solely on sex??? Is that all we are? Sex on legs?

A friend pointed out what is now glaringly obvious: the women who are screwing or otherwise attached to men who are trash are, likely as not, women who lack any kind of real agency over their sex lives. How exactly would this sentiment -no peace no piece- be useful on a large scale in the real world?

We (the black community) all know we’re in trouble. We all know that barring the very few good ones, black men are the cause of our trouble. It is black men, overwhelmingly, who threaten us, abuse us, and at alarming rates kill us.

So, what to do?

Sexist men and women are easily identifiable through their insistence that the woes besetting the black community would be a thing of the past if only black women would recognise that it is up to them to fix everything, and become the queens Hoteps need. For Hoteps and the women who support them, a willingness to sacrifice any kind of sexual autonomy is all black women have to offer (to make up for men’s failure to successfully play the roles of provider and protector).

I reject the notion that it is up to black women to save the black community. The only obligations a black woman has are to herself, to her children (where applicable) and to her people, however she chooses to define people. Oh yes, we should all be feminists, because "feminists" know that no good can come from expecting one sex to bear alone the consequences of the failures of the other.