I don’t think your speeding analogy is a good one.
John Hopkins
52

Hi John, Thank you for your thoughtful responses. I had a few thoughts to counter argue.

  1. - “So what is our motive for writing? To confirm our own world view, or to help those who could benefit from more emotional strength to deal with what is in their face today?”

I am a straight white guy and I think writing like this is really important. I read this, and things like this because I realize that, although i would never label myself as insensitive or racist both of those things can live and grow inside of me. I want and need, honest words like these to help me remember that my experience is not everybody else’s, and to help me navigate the complex world we live in with as much grace and thoughtfulness as possible.

2.- “That reads like a first world ode to victim-hood, where you could instead be encouraging people to discover and nurture the emotional strength to deal with the world as it is”

I have something to add to this thought that comes from my own personal life. My wife has a disability that can land her in bed for days at a time, and being intentional with our relationship during those times is really important because something really subtle happens. I become more powerful and she becomes less powerful.

In that situation I have to make a real and deliberate choice as to approach our relationship and her pain. Pain is something that is really tricky to talk about. If we (in a position of power) aren’t willing to think and talk about pain in a really thoughtful way we end up adding to it. ( I know about this first hand)

Most of the time someone in pain needs to be listened to, but there is no way to listen to someone if we are more worried about protecting ourselves against having to apologize for something we feel justified in doing/saying.

To me political correctness or thoughtfulness is about being sensitive to the fact that everyones experience is different, and we should be thoughtful about not causing pain.

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