The cat featured above is my old, beautiful, completely crazy cat Bobby who sadly had to be put down two years ago. Before owning Bobby, I had very much been a dog person. But Bobby was full of character, holding himself with a sense of superiority, believing he was King of the Trussell Household, and everything had to be on his terms. Needless to say he was not at all happy when we brought in a German Shepherd puppy to our household, but still he stayed with us! We were his fifth household, and although he would be completely unpredictable, choosing to scram you at random moments if he felt like it or you were stroking him the wrong way, he chose us. And I loved him to bits.

Ever since Bobby passed away I have well and truly turned into the utter definition of a cat lady… minus actually owning a cat.

For those of you who follow me on Twitter you will find that I often write tweets about our feline friends or retweet accounts such as Why My Cat Is Sad and Emergency Kittens. I am constantly hinting to my mother about my feeling of incompleteness without a cat, and have already decided on four names for my future cats and what types I want to buy. It’s actually rather depressing.

A term called “catpawcity” by Tom Cox really brought it home to me that I am not the only one who has turned into a cat lady without actually owning a feline companion:

“….a state of cat-lessness, leading to an unenriched life…”

So I thought I would outline some of the problems my fellow sufferers of catpawcity face —

1. Whenever you are stressed, and think “a cat would be a really calming influence right now”… you realise that a state of true tranquility will never be achieved. Because you don’t own a cat.
2. Whenever a friend buys a cat, you feel an instant overpowering sense of jealousy. Because you don’t own a cat.
3. Then you actually consider stealing their cat. Because you don’t own a cat.
4. You start weighing up how valuable your friendship is with your new cat-owner pal compared to your need for cat fulfillment. Because you don’t own a cat.
5. You try and mentally calculate when you can actually move out of your home with your parents into your own place where you can buy a cat. Because you don’t own a cat.
6. You realise you will in no way be able to afford to move out anytime soon, and you fall into a state of despair. Because you don’t own a cat.
7. You try and convince your parents to buy a cat, and they say no. Because they don’t want a cat. And are therefore insane.
8. You realise that even if you did manage to convince them, your dog hates cats. And despite being a cat person, you still love your dog. So you are in a state of utter helplessness.
9. Whenever you see a cat in the street/go over a friend’s house and they have a cat, and it ignores/runs away from you, you feel as if a knife has been stabbed through your heart.
10. When you get called a cat lady, you actually kinda take it as a compliment.

After writing this I am well aware that I may lose many followers who do not understand the utterly amazing species cats are, and probably never get a boyfriend again. But if you don’t share my love of cats, then you are clearly weird. And not good-quirky weird either.