The empty television screen

The television shows a picture of a landscape
Looks almost like Egypt
I see mass golden flat ground
And nothing else
Or it could be the Mojave desert
The lighting is dim
It’s almost evening
Its dusk
In the picture
On the television screen
It plays in rotation
With another wallpaper
The other picture is of the forest
With Mountains of pine trees
Then after five minutes it flashes back to the desert
It’s not that I’m really watching it
Flash simultaneously
It’s just that’s where I face
I’m feeling this heaviness lay on me
An empty shallow feeling
That reverberates a nothingness into the room
It floods the ceiling
Knocking at the window to get out
My mouth is real dry
And I’m starving because I haven’t eaten
Since yesterday was an actual day
That I had some sense of balance
If I ever need to leave my house for anything
The agoraphobia smells of impatience
And I secrete myself
Holding myself hostage
In a comforting chaos
That I usually sleep through if I weren’t so worried
Of what I was doing all the time
That’s all I need
Ability
To get me through
This convoluted mirror
Colored in mud
Reflecting an energetic beacon of defilement
I can not
And won’t
Make it over the intersecting avenue
Which lacks a proper crosswalk
For me to crawl across
So that I can get to
A doctor if need so
I just stare now into the
Visionary images
That I still stare into
Silently on the television
Alone like usual
To make the insufferable angst

Of empty shallow nothingness
Illuminate