Mondays don’t suck. You do.

“It’s not me, it’s you”- Sincerely, Monday.

You on your stupid “Monday” drug

Most of the world likes to stay as neutral and “like everyone else” as possible. You like to sit in the cesspool of lukewarm thoughts and opinions and actions because nobody bothers you there. But don’t forget to think about WHY nobody bothers you in the lukewarm cesspool…it’s because it’s gross and repulsive and there’s a lot of you there and absolutely no point. It doesn’t add value or meaningfully disrupt anyone’s life when you live in lukewarm life land. So imma be real honest right now. Mondays don’t suck. You do.

Stop blaming Monday for your issues. It’s not Monday’s fault. Sure it’s easy to just chalk it up to Monday— because it’s a defenseless inanimate entity. Wow, look at you beating up the helpless kid in the corner. How brave and mighty of you. In the end it’s only a reflection of yourself. To the people hating Mondays- all I see is someone who isn’t willing to take responsibility for their life. Ooooooh. Take that. If you are a Monday hater you are exuding crazy amounts of energy burning down the house you are living in. Doesn’t that seem counterproductive? You don’t burn the house you’re in — you fill it with pretty flowers that make you smile and hide any left-in-the-fridge food scents.

If you have any hesitation towards, or hold grudges against this inanimate entity it is because you’ve been conditioned by the herd of sheep running around the earth. DANG IT. Yup you’ve been hoodwinked into unconscious conformity once again and dragged into the cesspool brain mode that is 98% of the world. FIGHT THE CESSPOOL.

We do a lot and say a lot because it’s “what everyone else does”. Again, FIGHT AVERAGE.

Excuses for Hating Mondays

1. “Ugh, I have to go to work”.

Then get a new job. Seriously. If you are a part of the 99% of people who don’t like Mondays it’s because you’re returning to the wrong job. REAL TALK. If you dread Mondays you need to send in your two week notice and find something that makes you live for Mondays. Guess what? 100% of the 99% of people who hate their job won’t send in their two week notice right now. Absolutely no one. Because I know you — you’re too scared.

2. I Like to Wallow for the fun of Wallowing.

“I’m not scared! It’s a good, stable job though so I’m going to keep it”. Great. If you won’t change your job, then accept it with exuberance. Why? Because you are consciously making the choice to be in box A — so go all in and make box A into a full out party. Your complaining changes NOTHING besides setting up your day to be miserable. Your thoughts will play a role in what the day throws you. Don’t call for the cows if you don’t wanna be trampled. Nobody has time for your miserableness just for the sake of being miserable.

Step up to the plate and own your behavior. Own your attitude, own your choices, own your words. Your Monday sucks because YOU said it sucks. It sucks because YOUR attitude sucks. It sucks because YOUR mindset is SUCKY MCSUCK FACE.

Monday is NO different than any other day. Think about it. The day itself is the same type of day as a Friday, as a Tuesday, and even — wait for it — as a Sunday! WOAH! It is literally just another structured division of empty time that we choose to fill. The only difference is that we decided to put a border of negativity around that day, literally removing an entire day of possibilities and happiness from our lives every week. I don’t have time for that.

It’s your crumby attitude and inability to detach yourself from the mass of cesspool dwellers that keep you from seeing the greatness of Monday.

So just a heads up. Don’t spread your Monday hate dust on me. Because I’ll be over here seizing the day and ignoring the haters.

Me saying bye to all dem Monday haters.