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Photo from stokpic.com

Enthusiast of fall scarves and Halloween accoutrements, Judith Weymeyer curses the corporate takeover of winter holidays in between sips of her pumpkin-flavored beverage from a popular Seattle coffee chain.

While shopping the clearance rack for discounted gordes and witch’s brooms at Target, Weymeyer reflected on the store’s overwhelming Christmas decorations: “This has gotten out of control. It’s not even Thanksgiving and they’re already shoving Saint Nick down our throats. Christmas is just an excuse to be a consumer.”

After exhausting two paychecks on a Halloween costume, pumpkin-flavored food items, and numerous Pinterest fails involving spooky craft cocktails, the aficionado of fall still anticipates celebrating Christmas with her family. However, they plan to keep the gift exchange simple. “We’ll probably just stick with gift cards,” Weymeyer explained. …


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As October 31st approaches, Anita Thompson steels herself for the misappropriation of synthesized, retro horror movie scores. In an effort to draw attention to the exploitation of Synthwave subculture, Thompson is calling for a Goblin moratorium on Halloween.

“They just don’t understand how offensive it is,” Thompson laments over the seasonal popularity of the Italian progressive rock-synth band Goblin, who she has known about since the age of 13. Thompson believes that most Halloween partygoers discovered Goblin via holiday-themed Pandora stations. Known for their scores to Profondo Rosso and Suspiria, Goblin’s music appeared in many European horror films of the 1970’s. …


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Photo Credit: LynstarFC via Visual Hunt / CC BY-NC

Still reeling from the announcement that The Woods was actually a new Blair Witch film, audiences were stunned to discover a basketball-playing golden retriever at the center of the nail-biting, adrenaline-inducing, edge-of-your-seat deathgrip of sheer terror.

17 years after the found footage horror film, The Blair Witch Project, shocked moviegoers, the 2016 sequel delivers not only on blood-curdling scares but on answering cryptic questions posed by the original’s chilling conclusion. Was there actually a witch in those woods? What really happened to Heather, Josh, and Mike? SPOILER ALERT: It was Air Bud all along.

However, this surprise may be less dramatic to those who have diligently followed Blair Witch writer, Simon Barrett, on Twitter. He subtly dropped hints regarding his research into the Air Bud filmography. …


12-time Olympic medalist and former reality TV star, Ryan Lochte, has signed on to a reboot of the horror film that fooled us into believing the worst had happened.

Ryan Lochte, best known as a leading American swimmer, was thrilled by the opportunity to play the ultimate prank in the upcoming remake of the 1986 slasher movie, April Fool’s Day. Lochte assembled some words about the news: “I mean, I’m just like, yeah…I’m so full of energy for, like, everything. And this movie too. People, the people watching the movie, will be super super surprised when they find out I, or like my character, right? …


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Do you like stereotypes? Do you like slasher movies? Great! Let us strip away your identity in favor of a generic character trope!

Click below to take the quiz.


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Every filmmaker to direct a horror movie in the last five years has rejected the role. Now, the search for talent to lead the next Friday the 13th has gone to the bowels of the internet.

A Craigslist ad was posted on Monday titled “Looking 4 Director w/ Ability to Ignore Red Flags.” While the description does not directly reference the popular slasher franchise, fans are all but certain that the “established horror series featuring a machete, hockey mask, and an important date on the calendar” is Friday the 13th.

The ad goes on to list requirements of the director: “must commit without reading the script, work efficiently under the pressure of a publicly announced deadline, and be willing to make changes at the whim of an executive.” The full text of the ad can be seen at the bottom of the post. …


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Packed with genre nods and cameos, the filmmakers behind Attack of the Halloween Blob were certain that their creature feature would resonate with horror fans based on the sole premise that it was self-referential. Unfortunately, the 1 star rating on major streaming sites indicates otherwise.

“We did everything we could to make sure horror geeks knew that this was a movie for them,” said an exasperated Tim Letherby, the film’s writer, director, and publicist. “Every single actor we cast was from a well-known horror movie, even if it was one of the random doctors who get killed in Halloween 6. …


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We’ve all asked ourselves this question at one point or another. Don’t spend another restless night wondering if your mom is outside your door waiting for you to fall asleep. You’re just one quiz away from knowing the truth!


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Photo by Jahidalgoaloy

Retro vinyl collector, Marty Whibbons, has anxiously awaited the LP release of his favorite cannibal farmer movie score that will likely never be produced.

Ever year on the anniversary of Motel Hell’s release, Whibbons tries to light a fire under MGM, Arrow Video, Shout! Factory, and Mondo to draw attention to the demand for a legitimate soundtrack release. Using his IMDB Pro account to retrieve industry contacts, he cold calls anyone he can find related to or potentially interested in the production and distribution of the 1980 cult horror film. …


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Immediately after watching the 2016 Ghostbusters film, insurance salesman Ronald Troutmeyer fell victim to a series of psychological afflictions associated with a troubled upbringing.

Troutmeyer’s recollection of his childhood was happy and quite ordinary until over 30 years later when Sony Pictures released a female-led reboot of his favorite supernatural comedy. “All those wonderful memories are just gone,” said Troutmeyer, who was 5 years old when the original film was released. While looking at the 1984 Ghostbusters IMDB page, he confessed: “Now, I can’t even remember what Harold Ramis looked like. …

About

Becky Sayers

I once made a movie about killer trees. www.beckysayers.com

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