Becky SayersinThe Haddonfield PostPumpkin Spice Latte Drinker Disgusted by Commercialization of ChristmasEnthusiast of fall scarves and Halloween accoutrements, Judith Weymeyer curses the corporate takeover of winter holidays.Nov 24, 2016Nov 24, 2016
Becky SayersinThe Haddonfield PostTrendsetter Listens to Goblin Everyday Except HalloweenAs October 31st approaches, Anita Thompson steels herself for the misappropriation of synthesized, retro horror movie scores.Oct 28, 2016Oct 28, 2016
Becky SayersinThe Haddonfield PostThe Woods Revealed to be Blair Witch Sequel, Later Revealed to be Terrifying Air Bud SpinoffAudiences were stunned to discover a basketball-playing golden retriever at the center of the edge-of-your-seat deathgrip of sheer terror.Sep 16, 2016Sep 16, 2016
Becky SayersinThe Haddonfield PostOlympic Swimmer Ryan Lochte to Star in April Fool’s Day RemakeThe Olympic medalist has signed on to a reboot of the horror film that fooled us into believing the worst had happened.Aug 29, 2016Aug 29, 2016
Becky SayersinThe Haddonfield PostQuiz: Which slasher victim are you?Let us strip away your identity in favor of a generic character trope!Aug 23, 2016Aug 23, 2016
Becky SayersinThe Haddonfield PostFriday the 13th Reboot Looks for New Director on CraigslistThe search for talent to lead the next Friday the 13th has gone to the bowels of the internet.Aug 16, 2016Aug 16, 2016
Becky SayersinThe Haddonfield PostSelf-Aware Horror Film Unaware That It SucksThe filmmakers were certain their creature feature would resonate with horror fans based on the sole premise that it was self-referential.Aug 13, 2016Aug 13, 2016
Becky SayersinThe Haddonfield PostQuiz: Will your mom murder you in your sleep?We’ve all asked ourselves this question at one point or another. Don’t spend another restless night wondering.Jul 28, 2016Jul 28, 2016
Becky SayersinThe Haddonfield PostFan Still Waiting for Motel Hell Soundtrack on VinylRetro vinyl collector has anxiously awaited the LP release of his favorite cannibal farmer movie score that will likely never be produced.Jul 25, 20161Jul 25, 20161
Becky SayersinThe Haddonfield Post37-Year-Old Man Seeks Counseling After Ghostbusters Destroys ChildhoodAfter watching the 2016 Ghostbusters film, Troutmeyer fell victim to psychological afflictions associated with a troubled upbringing.Jul 19, 2016Jul 19, 2016