Your therapist is a dick.
In my sad moments, I sometime ponder the idea of therapists. After getting over the spelling of the-rapists, I find that there is so much about therapy that just doesn’t add up (besides, well, the nice bill you get at the end).
Sometimes in life it just seems that the idea of something is far greater than the reality. Sure, how nice would it be if you had someone to listen to all of your troubles, who could give you advice, and who always had your best interests in mind? Sounds awesome, doesn’t it? But, what are we? Are we johns who think that hookers genuinely love and enjoy us? That type of thinking is so idealistic and unreal. It’s a business. It’s comfort and reassurance. It’s mutually beneficial: the therapist profits, the patient goes home feeling a little better about their life. What more is it? You’ll have to remove this label that you’re probably wanting to give me right now…”pessimist,” which, I get it. I know that sounds like a negative way of looking at it. But am I being negative? Or am I just sharing a truth that is negative.
The reality is that no person can ever have your best interests in mind when they don’t even know you. They can try to get to know you, but they will only ever know you based on whatever you yourself have told them. So, you go on and you tell them about yourself in your own eyes. You tell them a version of yourself that you either believe or want to share, and that’s how it goes. Odd, no? ’Cause how we see ourselves and how we portray ourselves may not really be a fair representation of who we really are, how can it? How can you sit in front of a stranger and pour out details about yourself in a way that would do you any justice? For a therapist to give advice to a person they don’t know almost seems like writing a report on a movie you only read the synopsis about. It’s not enough. And let’s also consider this: it’s their job. You’re giving money to a stranger who gets paid to speak to you. She may not be a selfish asshole, but she’s not a friend either.
So then, upon a synopsis, a stranger who doesn’t know you tells you how they think you should live, and then you hope that they aren’t doing it for the money even though you’re paying them for their opinion? How do they determine advice? Is there a book that he/she studied from that tells people how to live? We just have to trust them that they are right? Who are they? Do they have any reason that they are seemingly navigating through life better than us? We’re taking life advice from someone who dubs themselves a therapist? Do we know anything about them- what motives they may have, their biases, and what forces them to think a certain way? What ideas of morals do they even have? And even if they have these “morals,” morals are hardly absolute or universal. How does this make sense? Do they want to help me? Do they want my money? How can I trust them? And yet so many people just select a name from the phone book… and voila. They have a therapist.