Nikita Coulombe you bring up some great points here. I do not identify as feminist because my goals for myself are radically different than feminism’s (in its current form) goals for me.

I have always seen the primary function of work to be the ability to provide for oneself, and, when applicable, for one’s family. My husband feels the same way. He doesn’t get up at 6 a.m. every morning and drive in to work on a cold, wet day to prove something about himself, he does it so that we can live in a house and eat food. The fact that he is working in his chosen field, doing a job he doesn’t hate, is a perk. For us, our family is central. When we started our family, it was logical for me to be the one to stay home. Pregnancy is a real beast. Could I have dragged myself into an office and kept working through the vomits and dry heaving and aches and pains? Sure, I’m tough. But thankfully, I didn’t need to. Recovering from birth is a real beast, too. I definitely could not have started working any earlier than 4 weeks after giving birth. And then, there’s the breastfeeding. Every medical expert who was born after 1850 agrees that breastfeeding is far and away better for your baby than formula. Could I have gone to work and taken breaks to pump every two hours? Yup. Lots of women do. But why should I, unless there’s some dire financial need for me to? To prove to myself, or to the rest of the world, that I can? No, thanks. I’ve been done proving myself for a long time now.

Even though I reject modern-day feminism’s message, though, I still have to fight the subliminal messaging that I, along with every other woman, get bombarded with every day. I am in a great marriage with a wonderful man, but I still have to check myself when I subconsciously start interpreting everything he does in the light of feminism’s caricature of men. I still have to fight embarrassment at the office Christmas party when everyone’s else’s spouse is talking about what they do, and I say, “I’m a stay-at-home mom”, as if it were something to be ashamed of.

I’m thankful for the right to vote. But I don’t think feminism has done much for me since then.