Yeah, I have already spent way too much of my life trying to come up with one.
I am not a swearer IRL, but as a writer I respect the fact that others use words like this and that sometimes they actually can be effective. Take a mild but classic example: Rhett Butler, finally walking out of Scarlett’s life in disgust, leaves her with the words: “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” First of all, it’s narrative, so it’s not a writer speaking directly to the audience, and in the narrative he is intending offend Scarlett. He wants her to know that he really just does not care anymore. He can’t even.
Most of the writing on Medium is writer-to-reader though, so as a reader I just feel like I’m constantly being sworn at. It’s also just a cheap and dirty way to say something that could probably be said a lot better. Or to try to get in with the “cool crowd”. I once knew a person who I grew up with from about the age of 11 on. We were both church girls. We didn’t hear people talk like that. Somewhere around 18 or 19 it just seemed like a flip switched and all of the sudden, f-bombs became the bread and butter of her speech. Noun, adjective, verb — you get the idea. It came across as forced. It was just put on to impress the new crowd she was running in. That’s the kind of swearing that gets under my skin the most. Any middle-schooler can and does use those words. They are cheap. I eschew them. Eschew, eschew!