“Is this experience going to color how you might throw your own wedding?

Definitely. I wouldn’t want it to be something that’s focused on the money. I would want it to be something that’s focused on people being together and having everybody be supportive about it and laughing — that’s the fun part.”

From your own description, it doesn’t sound like anyone else’s wedding is “focused on the money” either — and I think it’s kind of rude of you to assume that these friends of yours are focused on money. No, they’re focused on “people being together,” which… costs money if you weren’t going to be together in the first place. Which is exactly what you’re sounding high-and-mighty about.

Go, don’t go. There is no obligation to attend a bachelorette party or a shower. Frankly, if you can’t get to a wedding, there isn’t an obligation to attend that either. You are a grown-up who makes your own financial decisions.