I wish it were possible to make one highlight across the entire article. Like I've been telling people, I feel, 2 months post-leaving / divorce finalizing, that I can't even tell how long it's going to be before I can trust my instincts completely. It may be never again. After decades, it's simply impossible to know for sure, plus there's all the self-doubt.

My ex- and I are still trying to sort through some bills and figuring out how / where things were getting paid just this week. She called to tell me that a particular streaming bill was signed up and paid through my Amazon account. I told her that I was certain that she signed up for it; I remember her making the decision and telling me what service we were getting a few years ago. Despite my recollection, I told her that I'd look through my Amazon payments. Twenty minutes later, I called to tell her that it wasn't there. I asked her to look again. "Oh, it's on Google Pay." Then, after another twenty minutes on the phone (in which I reminded her that Amazon and Google Pay are different and knowing which one to look at makes a difference), she informed me that the bill got paid (which I already knew from looking at the streaming website) because she updated it to her new credit card.

I'm getting closer to being able to go no-contact. It was one thing to get out; the lingering interactions remind me how thankful I am that I paid more money NOW to not have to be linked to her financially going forward. If I were, I'd never heal.

Great article!!!