I get that you are angry and frustrated. And it’s always ok to be angry and frustrated.
But I think it’s important for you to sit with this just a bit more and try to see that the things making you angry are not actually the fault of trans women. Misogyny is making you angry, and a very low-key form of transphobia is redirecting that anger at trans women.
Trans people are not oppressing anyone. They don’t have that kind of social power. Patriarchy makes cis women and “feminine” men and gender nonconforming people and trans people feel like shit about our bodies. Patriarchal rape culture tells cis men it’s ok to throw their dicks in other people’s faces. Trans people are nothing to do with that. If you are triggered by the sight of a trans woman’s penis in a changing room, I’m so sorry and that’s so fucked up that you had an experience that would traumatize you so much, but that trauma lies at the door of sexually entitled men, and it’s unfair to put it at the door of a trans woman who is just trying to live her life.
I’m really sorry that you’re feeling so frustrated, angry, and even triggered. I don’t want to diminish those feelings.
But if we’re going to get anywhere as women, it’s really important to see everyone who identifies as female as being fully legitimately female.
Misogyny affects all of us, even closeted trans women. They don’t *quite* have male privilege as such. The male persona they’re forced into has male privilege. The feminine person they are inside is still meanwhile being subjected to misogyny. And misogyny is one of the forces that makes it so difficult for trans women to come out and be their real selves. So they are absolutely affected by it their whole lives even as they are socialized male. I think that’s an important thing to recognize.